Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

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Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 69. Sketching Characters

I would like to share with you, my dear friends, my reminiscences about our professors. Of course, if one digs deep enough in memory reserves, many things can be remembered about those who were teaching us. However, I am doing this without any efforts, off the cuff, as they say.

Associate professor T.F.Ryzhkov

Associate professor
T.F.Ryzhkov

The first character that crops up is, of course, Timofey Fadeyevitch Ryzhkov (Faradey). Faradey was an impressive personality. His perfect knowledge of his subject was striking. Though his students learned or became aware about that only later, and somebody remained ignorant of that. Well, and I describe him in the following way: a big, strong man in an amazingly white and horribly long doctor's smock, as they said surgical coat with strings on its back, which also reflected the owners character and always stuck out in different directions; and as it seemed to me,

Muffle furnace

Muffle furnace

the surgical coat's strings were also ferocious, as well as its owner. Now I understand that he was a great showman, I am sorry for the word; however how deeply he impressed the students during his first lectures, when he squeezed a backbone in his hand and it turned into sand. Or when he took a rib and knotted it! That astonished any imagination. The backbone and the rib were not anatomic preparations, they were bones of animals. The backbone was baked in a laboratory muffle furnace, and the rib was soaked in acid. And what he was saying about the anatomic preparations! I did not pay much attention to that then; only now I understand the real meaning of what he was saying: "The preparations we use are the remains of people who lived once, they continue serving people.
Do not abuse them!
Treat them with care and awe!" That was followed by "rykkkk" and continued: "You do not understand? Go to a circus, to play Hamlet!" If someone's doctor's smock was messy or too short or made of nylon, he roared: "to a beer stand, to sell pies..." Yeah, and remember his scary eyebrows, wisps of hair sticking out of his nose and his aquiline nose itself.
And if, God forbids, some of the students from the groups he supervised got into trouble, he would smash an offenders' head, but would help the offended.


Professor Y.D.Logachev

Professor Y.D.Logachev

Our first Chancellor, the namesake of my friend Zhenya Romashov; he most actively participated in enrolling Zhenya into the institute. Yevgeniy Dmitrievitch Logachev. He was always an elegantly dressed, impeccably polite and good-natured handsome man. The way he treated students could not be more democratic, but only a complete fool or a boor could step over the line.
And what praises he sang of a flesh fly!
"Flesh flies (Calliphoridae) are the dipterous insects family. Flesh flies as a rule have bright coloration or green or blue tones, which is shot with metallic. Monuments should be erected to this species of insects! At the time of the First World war an unexpected property of their maggots, which colonize in festering wounds, was discovered. It was found out that the maggots of green and blue flies feeding on decomposing tissues of wounds, not only remove that tissue together with small fractions of bones, but with their waste prevent reproduction of pathogenous bacteria. In addition to that they secrete the substance which stimulates healing of wounds. How many wounded they saved during the war! The war is the most vulgar prose: lacerated, infected wounds, crumbled bones, lack or outage of water, reusable bandages, pediculosis... And the fly is on purpose let close to festering wounds and does magic!

Логачев Е.Д., будучи ректором на картофеле со студентами

Y.D.Logachev,
the Chancellor,
digging potatoes together with the students


It performs semination in them, then worms appear, which especially in case of shortage or lack of hydrogen peroxide, without any antibiotics clean the wounds with great pleasure, with breathtaking appetite they are eating up decomposing tissues, which are purulent and disengaging, however ignoring alive, emerging tissue". After that for some reason he loudly blew his nose into a huge perfectly fresh and snow-white handkerchief. It looked as if he had dozens of them always at hand. When I was listening to all that at Y.D.Logachev's lectures and vividly pictured everything he was talking about, it sent shivers down my spine.



F.S.Golubkova

F.S.Golubkova

Faina Samsonovna Golubkova. She was teaching a course of roentgenology in our group in our fifth year. That was a two weeks course right before the holiday of the seventh of November. So I, after I had heard what a wonderful woman Faina Samsonovna was, dared to approach her at the Department before the beginning of the course and asked for her permission to skip seminars; I had a cheek to say that I was ready to answer any of her questions without attending the course. I had prepared for that, I had Zhora Chernobay's notes of her course. So I immediately demonstrated to her my knowledge and retold a quotation from the notes:

"Roentgenologists are chroniclers. They are the readers of human shadows of Roentgen's X-rays. By what is imprinted in an X-ray photograph a good roentgenologist can determine a person's age and find pathology even of the endocrine system". It was later, when Zhora told me that he had written that from her words. Generally speaking, Golubkova hemmed after my citation and asked about a reason of the supposed missing of the classes. I honestly told her that I wanted to fly home to Frunze. And Faina Samsonovna allowed me to do that, though she warned me that she would sign my student records book only after my return to the institute. That was the way everything happened then.


K.T.Somova

K.T.Somova

Klavdia Tikhonovna Somova. She taught therapeutic dentistry. She did not work at our Therapeutic Department, so I am writing this from the words of the graduates of the Dentistry Department. For instance, Kostya Romashov, he more then simply did not like her, he hated her, even for her tricks of tossing up preparations of teeth. And Klavdia Tikhonovna also made a student
close his eyes and put into his hand a preparation of a real tooth. She asked to tell her: what kind of tooth that was, from what jaw, whether it was the left or the right one. And she made students "study, study and study again". She did not allow come close to a patient those who did not without any thinking gave a tooth's first and last names. So now after the years and years of professional and life experience Konstantin Dmitrievitch sends his gratitude to Klavdia Tikhonovna Somova for teaching him a lesson.


B.F.Golubev

B.F.Golubev

Boris Fedorovitch Golubev. Well, how can I pass over this impressive and unique character? He was loved and given a nickname of "belch", because he used to complain of a belch during his lectures. And he was belching in front the audience. That was long before our graduation that they had started calling him by that name, and, it seemed that he knew about the nickname, however, it absolutely did not bother him. And the story with a carafe became a tradition and was repeated many times. Guys from the group #7 went even further.
Restless and always ready to play a joke Vitya Kubasov and Shura Popovitch were going to conduct a referendum, or at least a plebiscite with the only one question in the agenda:
"Do you agree that after the example of the Departments of Anatomy and Pathological
V.Kubasov

V.Kubasov

A.K.Popovitch

A.K.Popovitch

Anatomy and Physiology and Pathological Physiology rename the Philosophy Department into the Department of Pathological Philosophy, while Boris Fedorovitch Glebov works there?" And there were three variants of an answer: "Agree - Yes!", "Agree - No!" and "What if?!"

2 October, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
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Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑


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