Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
They say to know somebody really well one should eat a pood of salt with the person; this is full-weight sixteen kilograms. By that time I already knew that man in regular circumstances and, if he is himself an average one, consumes about five kilos of salt. Nevertheless there are some unique examples. For instance, let's take Mikhail Mikhailovitch, my aunt's husband; he alone ate perhaps the very pood during a year. He came home for lunch; a plate with the first course was placed in front of him, and he even without tasting the dish, took a salt shaker and zealously shook it over his soup. Then he took a pepper shaker and also was shaking it till the food color turned black and then enjoyed the meal. It should be pointed out that he did all of that without looking, because he was reading a newspaper at the very same time.He did the same with the second course. And if asked later: "How was your lunch?", he would say: "Delicious". And there is another category of people, who consume regular amount of salt, but their understanding of friendship will never allow them to say that a dish is put too much salt in, if everybody around praises the very same salted dish. This is exactly the way Dima Mkheidze was like in his youth. Now I want to repent, though we should have repented together
Just imagine, there was a palm tree and a rubber plant there. Well, we arrived to the restaurant excited by the meal we were going to have. When appetizers were served, beetroot salad with Picton herring, we did not become alerted when Ditto suddenly started suggesting us going to a bathroom to have our hands washed, even though vodka was already poured into jiggers. So we went to wash our hands, and it happened so, we just could not understand how, that we returned later than Dimka, and Dimka was even reproaching us, saying why it took us that long. The plates with solyanka were already on the table. We agreed to start, like professor Preobrazhenskiy advised, with solyanka. After "Stolichnaya" we did not taste right away that solyanka was pure salt. We put our spoons down, and Ilgam said: "We were right that we refused to break our tradition", and asked me, if that would be better to beat him right away or after the meal, though who could eat that! And Ditto was laughing loudly; there were even tears in his eyes. He was laughing and was not at all afraid of us. He only asked us to remember that he had never showed to us that there had been too much salt in his food, so he on purpose arranged the revenge on the day, which was important to us. I have always said that Dimka was a true prince. It turned out that he had had an agreement with a waiter beforehand, and when he completely enjoyed his revenge, he called the waiter and asked him to bring different solyanka for us to enjoy the meal and the lunch. We drank to friendship and swore to help each other and be together on good and bad days. That time the tradition was broken. Usually we came to the restaurant at two o'clock and left it at four after having a good meal; on that day we left when it was closing. Ilgam and I were not discussing our plans of beating, and were repenting and confessing to Dimka that we had been such scums.
Dimka was satisfied. He even paid the bill for the whole evening at the restaurant. In a word, he was a prince of Imereti.
20 October, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21206220673
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑