Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 119. An autograph
Even though I've never been on long-term farming assignments directed by the institute, yet I believe that modern students have not benefited because of their abolition. After a month of working in fields (forget a month, sometimes even two weeks were quite enough) and dwelling in buildings of entertainment centers or other shed-like premises in anti-sanitary Spartan conditions, most various qualities were shown up in students. That was the time when leaders showed themselves, those who could make decisions and lead others; now they would be described as cool guys.It was there where those willing to submit clearly manifested their traits, they were nice guys, but they needed a word of command. It was the time when students made real friends, and the friendship lasted for years, even decades. First love affairs started also there with tumultuous dates in haycocks and haystacks. And what funny situations took place there, and how many there were of them, not to count. For instance, only I will not give any names, because of obvious reasons. I will only say that that happened with student groups who graduated in 1971. For those who know, the characters of my essays Zhora Chernobay and Kolya Kozlov were among those students.Here is what happened. Back in pioneers' camps we were excelling in all kinds of mischief after the lights-out time. Usually we smeared toothpaste on those who were fast asleep, or if we were lucky to get hold of a lipstick, then we used it. There was all kind of mischief to draw moustache or just smear all face around. During our student years the objects of mischief got changed. On the very first day of the arrival Mikhail announced that his sleep was very light so he would not allow to play mischievous tricks on him. Everybody was very surprised by the announcement, especially if to take into account that Misha was about two meters tall, and his weight was about one hundred kilos. However, even if guys were not going to play any tricks, the warning of that kind made them start thinking about some mischief. They could not wait for too long, and in a couple of days, to be more precise nights everybody got convinced that as soon as Mikhail fell asleep even a gunshot would not wake him up. And in addition he was snoring very loudly, so the reason for a mischief was, as they say, obvious.
Mikhail was sliding down on his butt from a huge hay stack and hit a pitchfork carelessly left by someone. Luckily Misha only slightly scratched his scrotum, though it was bleeding. How much a doctor of a local hospital was surprised, when Misha was delivered to him. He plainly asked him: "You what? Do you, young gentleman, also sign your name with it? Give autographs?". It is not known what else they were talking about, except one thing, Misha persuaded the doctor to issue a medical document releasing him from the farming assignment. On the very day he returned to Kemerovo. It is not clear how it happened that when the witnesses of what had happened came back to the institute, the story was already widely told around a dorm and in classrooms, but everybody thought it to be a tale. However it was not a tale; that was life.
21 June, 2012
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #213103001352
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑