Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
It has always surprised me how Arkashka, our Komsomol group leader, managed to get out of any kind of scrape. He had never had any problems at the institute. Or if he had them, he concealed them so well, that nobody knew about them, which was also cool. For instance, Kostya Romashov was a Komsomol leader of his group at the Dentistry Department, however he managed to get into a pretty mess. It was just a miracle that he extricated himself from it, and not just got out of it, but almost without any consequences. There could be consequences at that time, though not like in 1937, yet they could be not sweet as well.Here is what happened.
What they could do really well in the CPSU was to keep one hooked. Maybe they could not work and even did not want to, though when it came to humiliating, hauling somebody inferior over the coals - they were the best at that. Well, perhaps, that was what they called their work. And what kinds of most tricky things were designed for that! To put it more exactly, had been designed for that, as those communists used experience of their predecessors, and the latter had done their best and left abundant experience. That was squealing and informing on colleagues and friends at work and among the party members, and various conferences and reports at different levels. That was obligatory. It was necessary not only to haul over the coals and humiliate somebody inferior, but also to give him the same opportunity, that he acted in the same way with his associates. Komsomol leaders of student groups could be belittled by Komsomol leaders of student groups united according to a year of entering the institute and by Komsomol leaders of departments, in addition to all those party committees, that also wanted to have fun and arranged meetings during which they listened to reports about achievements in Komsomol activity of poor Komsomol group leaders.
Associate Professor
K.S.Glebov
Generally speaking, he was not a bad person, and the students if did not love him, then treated him as an unavoidable evil. Nevertheless M.Z.Mirgazizov had a heart of stone; by the way, later he transferred to a medical institute of Kazan.
Associate professor
E.S.Shalneva
She was loved by all students and famous by the name "Old Lena" or "Mom". Sure enough, Kostya's examination paper was number thirteen; well, the number was his bad luck. However examination questions were easy, Kostya knew the answers. In his mind he pictured Kirgizia and his mom's treats he would taste very soon. Though, they have a reason to mark the number thirteen out. It played its role that time as well. Kostya was on his way to Old Lena's table, when the door opened and the department deputy head Glebov came in: "Well, what's going on here? Group 41". And he saw Kostya standing at the table. "Ah, comrade Komsomol group leader, let's listen to you. Are you ready to answer? Please, sit down". Kostya immediately did not like Glebov's kindness, but there was nothing he could do. Glebov took Kostya's examination paper and said that for those questions he scored one point even without answering them. "Let's talk about the simplest thing, without which a soviet doctor cannot be considered a real doctor" - and he approached a wall where behind a curtain there was a stand with the CPSU Central Committee iconostasis.
Just imagine; all names and positions under the photos of the Central Committee members were hidden under glued slips of paper. Jesuits! Glebov opened the curtain: "Who is this?", and poked his pointer into Eduard Amvrosievich Shevornadze. That was it, the effect of the examination paper number thirteen; in Kostya's head there was again a stupid joke about a Chukchi and about "a chief, however..."; and being aware that he was saying something stupid, but against his will Kostya uttered: "A Chief...". Glebov's eyes from small ones grew big.
Jesuits
M.Z.Mirgazizov
The plot of the essay was kindly given by K.D.Romashov.
1 October, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21207230581
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑