Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
"As the call, so the echo" or in another way: "The voice you sing in at the beginning will be identified with you." This is popular wisdom, and it was crystallizing out for years, even centuries, however some people use it; and other have never heard about that. Or maybe they did heard, but believe that it was not about them or for them. So as a result, there are various collisions, and not very pleasant ones are just for them.I will revert to Vadik Pochekutov and the assembly after the fifth year at the institute. Generally speaking, in regular life Vadik had always been somewhat amorphous. However when he was in his group at the institute his amorphism did not attract any special attention of small groups of people or invoke in them desire to play a trick with it. When Vadik was brought to the assembly, he found himself surrounded by more than a hundred angry guys; they were angry not explicitly, but implicitly, as their freedom was taken away from them, they were made to wear military uniform and were settled at the area enclosed by a fence; Vadik became even more amorphous and to some extend weak-willed. He completely surrendered to the situation and the aggressive male surrounding and was following the flow according to the principle: "go where it will carry you out". Well, and the aggressive surrounding I had mentioned was on the spot and started having fun and amusing itself the way it could. Here is an example for your attention: according to the assembly's schedule, fathers-commanders had planned a night quick march for five or ten kilometers.
I do not remember exactly now, as I did not participate in it myself, but among a few I had known about it and warned those I wanted to warn. Well, and who would warn Vadik? Sure enough, nobody had shared a word with him. However at night, after he had fallen asleep,
Practical jokes were also played on Badri Lipartiya for his hotheadedness. However his impulsiveness was respected at the same time, and it was unlikely that someone would have played a similar joke on him.
There was also another type of reaction to the fact of being at the assembly; and a dining hall was a place where it was revealed. There were petty showdowns, when there was "not enough" soup poured into a bowl, or a piece of meat in the soup was small or instead of meat there was the so called lint (that is a cows' tendon, which goes along a backbone). I will say honestly that at my table I asked a corporal on duty (the one who was pouring the first course, dividing meat and dividing the second course) to put no meat at all into my fist course, or just put the lint into it, which everybody refused to have. So at our table arguments of that kind stopped. Do not assume that I am a vegetarian; it was just disgusting for me to hear whining and yelping of a "deprived" one. And it was significant that the whiner took a piece of meat I had given up. Perhaps I will not give his last name; that situation did not become known in the company, it was cut off within the limits of our table as well.
Well and here is a case of a scandal because of a lump of sugar.
There was a conflict, and it almost resulted in a complaint to the Department head colonel Feodorov. The process of the students' feeding was organized in the following way: those who were in charge of the kitchen put on a squad's table for ten people a pot with the first course, and pot with the second course, a kettle with tea and thirty lumps of sugar in a bowl,
Felix An
A.Filkov
Of course, it is not customary to finish an essay with a depressed note, but I have to express my opinion. For five years before that we had attended lectures together, with someone we went to restaurants, with others were good buddies, but it had never occurred to us that some of us loudly and disgustingly chumped, someone started whining and nagging because of a piece of meat size in his soup (it was a symbolical one there anyway), and someone could start howling because of a lump of sugar.
And of course, we could not believe that there was someone among us who was able to take another's lump of sugar, swallow it without choking on it and after that had no courage to admit that. Among criminal prisoners this kind of behavior is figuratively called "rats' business", and the one caught in that is inescapably abused. The principle is cruel and pitiless, though it worked; the rats' business was nonsense there.
I will honestly tell you that I could have taken someone's sugar and hide it in order to give it back later; well, for instance I could have taken it from Arkashka Blyakher or Marik Golubkov, most likely from Marik, as he always understood humor and enjoyed playing jokes himself. However I had neither opportunity nor right to do so after the incident with meat; in addition to that I have never had tea with sugar. During the assembly the guys shared my sugar by turns.
The stories for the essay were kindly provided by A.G.Lopatin.
21 September, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21207230523
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑