Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 1. How I became a student

When entering a Medical Institute I had the following entrance exams schedule: chemistry, physics and a composition. I passed chemistry with an A, though physics almost put an end to my epopee of entering the Kemerovo State Medical Institute.

In the morning at the appointed hour I arrived to the main building of the institute (at that time it was in Kirovskiy district of Kemerovo) and lined up for the exam together with other early risers. Soon there was time to enter a class room, and I could not find my examination record book, then terror-stricken I remembered that I had left it at home in a settlement of Kedroskiy opencast mine where I lived with my parents at that time. Now it is difficult to remember the gamut of emotions and swirl of thoughts in my head, but everything added up to one: "This is it, I'm done with my entrance exams".

Yet, I went home to Kedrovskiy opencast mine, took my examination record book and went back to the Institute. It should be mentioned that there is a thirty or forty minutes bus ride from Kedrovskiy opencast mine to the district of Rudnichnyi of the city of Kemerovo, then one should take a number three tram to continue the trip for 30 minutes longer. All in all, it took me about three hours to go there and back. I do not know why I did not take a taxi; perhaps, had no money. So I was walking from the tram to the Institute, not in a hurry, as I was sure that I was late for the exam, and there was no reason to hurry up. Though every undertaking is to be finished, and I was dully moving along.

There was nobody at the door of the classroom where the exam was to be taken. And all of a sudden miraculously the door opened and a girl came out (perhaps a secretary) and asked if there were any other institute entrants to take a physics exam. I was dumb-founded and said that I wanted to take the exam. The girl literally pulled me inside the room and announced that she found one more. I remember that the head at the board of examiners was a man. I remember that he was loudly reprimanding me and said that he himself would hold my examination. I took an examination paper and I clearly remember even now that one of the questions was Archimedean principle, then some other question and a problem.

Entering KSMI

Because of all the worries and especially because I was literally pulled into the examination room, I became completely blank. About the Archimedean principle I remembered only pictures from the physics text book, where there were tanks and other containers with water and a man in them and some objects. So I drew all these on two pieces of paper. The second question I do not remember at all. I might not know or remember the answer to it, as for the problem, I solved it and put the answer in a nice way on paper. Then I do not know why and do not know for the life of me what for I drew a dust formula (DDT dichlorodiphenil..., etc.) at the bottom of the paper. So I was sitting and waiting in an absolutely calm way as I knew exactly that I failed the exam, I was just waiting to see the end of all that. Finally the head of the examination board picked up my examination paper and my pieces of paper with the answers and asked what had happened that I was almost late to the exam. And I honestly told him about everything - the gamut of emotions and swirl of thoughts and about the trip I made. And then his words imprinted themselves in my mind: "But he does know physics!". "And why did you write this?" (this was about the dust formula). I honestly answered - "that I did not know, it drew itself somehow". He wrote something in my examination record book and gave it to me, and said: "Good bye". I looked into the book only when I was in the hall and there was an excellent grade there.

For the composition in the Russian language I was given a satisfactory grade, though, nevertheless together with some other institute entrants I was invited to the Rector's office, where we were announced that considering two excellent grades on chemistry and physics even with a satisfactory grade for the Russian language, I was enrolled as a first year student into the Kemerovo State Medical Institute.

july 4, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202091707

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content