Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 77. Four letters

All, practically all former students describe their student years as the best time of their lives. You bet! Former secondary school students tore away from their parents' control and became their own masters! And it is well known that 80 per cent, if not more, of students are former secondary school students. And even most notorious school hooligans are not capable of the tricks, gibing and stunts students do. And they are doing... Though, all their tricks result not from their meanness or filth, however they are quite often exactly that way, but from the fact that they are overcome with emotions and bubbling energy. A troublemaker and everybody around are having a good laugh at the numbers he does, well, and the one, who happened to be the troublemaker's target does not feel like laughing at all. So quite often a lot of problems have to be resolved in order to mitigate an innocent trick and minimize its consequences. It is a very big problem, if a student becomes an object of practical jokes.
Vasiliy (he asked me not to mention his last name) was not among those who were constantly made fun of or played tricks on, or made a fool of. He was a serious guy. He came into medicine because he had a calling. In his first year he already worked part-time as an orderly at an emergency room.

When he had a spare moment, when there were no calls and nurses were resting, Vasiliy did not waste his time and was studying for his classes at the institute. He liked to repeat that even if he learned a page, he would know it. To cut it short, they liked Vasiliy at the ER, and treated him to cutlets or Doctor sausage. That was at the ER, where he was loved. However at his group he also stood out. Vasya was not exactly a top student, but he studied diligently and well. It happened so that a talent for drawing was discovered in him.

As it is known, students study biology in their first year. I failed to understand, during my study, what for during a biology course we were made, it is even better to say obliged, to draw roaches, bugs and mites in albums, as well as various cells with a nucleus and protoplasm. Well, why I should tell you about that, you yourself remember. I will say honestly that I did not have any problems with that. I could draw and professors praised me. Even more, in the first year I shared an apartment with Ilgam Gasanov in Kirosvkiy district near a police station. We were lucky; two of us rented a one-room apartment. So Ilgam and I had our chores divided. Ilgam studied at the Sanitary and Hygiene Department. And I was drawing roaches and bugs for myself and Ilgam, and he to return the favor was frying potatoes or cleaning the apartment instead of me, when there was my turn. So Vasilyok also did not have any problem with drawing. Cells were just perfect, of course, that was not The Highest Wave by Ayvazovskiy, yet it was drawn nicely. And what was the most important - whole-heartedly. So Vasiliy got himself into a trouble. He shared an apartment with Mikhail, a nice guy, but an incredible troublemaker.

At the institute he was on a regular basis playing tricks on someone, or was hiding from someone after his another stunt, but did not quit his activity. He always told Vasiliy about how and who he made a fool of. He laughed heartily even when he was telling like he had been beaten up for a trick, which had not been appreciated. Mikhail never touched Vasiliy. And so that happened. Vasiliy was about to finish putting his album in order before the next day test, but when he stepped out of a room to use a bathroom, Mikhail could not resist the temptation; they are right, when they say: Can the leopard change his spots?
So the very moment Vasiliy left the room, Mishka grabbed a notebook, tore a page out of it and in big letters wrote a short four letters obscene word of the page size, and quickly put it inside Vasiliy's album. In the morning Vasya calmly got ready, though he almost left the ill-fated album in the room, and headed to the institute to Tatiana Kuzminichna Solovieva. Everything was perfectly fine before Solovieva started turning over the album's pages. This is how it usually happens, right before Vasiliy his group mate was taking the test, so Tatiana Kuzminichna looked through three or four pages of his album and signed his student's record book. In Vasiliy's case she was steadily turning page after page, as if she was looking for something. And it is well known: the one, who is looking for something, will always find it.

So somewhere in the middle of the album Solovieva suddenly blushed, her cheeks turned flush red. Vasya even thought that with blush Tatiana Kuzminichna was even more beautiful. However Solovieva did not read Vaska's thoughts, she abruptly closed the album, offered it to Vasiliy and cut short: Re-draw everything and tomorrow morning bring it to me. She did not react to Vaska's what, how and why? If Vasiliy was walking enthusiastically to take the test in the morning, then he was barely moving his feet on his way back. He just could not understand, what had happened to Solovieva? She had always been favorable disposed to him; at least it had seemed to him that way. At home Vasiliy looked through his album again and found the page with those four letters. This is son of a bitch Mishka - Vasiliy thought and decided to whack him in the face, but there was a disappointment awaiting for him. Mishka had left to his night duty much earlier than he had to, as he supposed that Vasiliy would have a desire to grab hold of his shirt front.

Vasiliy was re-drawing the album all night long and in the morning he came to T.K. Solovieva. He found her at the office and gave her the album. When he just entered, he noticed that all instructors were intently looking at him. Tatiana Kuzminichna looked through the whole album and then innocently asked: Vasya, and where is the loose leaf? Have you lost it? That time Vasiliy turned red as a lobster, and everybody who was in the office were loudly laughing. Vasiliy came to his senses only when Tatiana Kuzminichna asked for his record book to sign it.

The plot of the story was kindly given by Natalia Biserova.

26 October, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21206220670

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content