Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

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Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 70. An Excursion

We were in our sixth year at the institute. All guys were already confident in their skills and that everything will be all right with them. Everyone knew exactly what he would specialize in. And many guys even knew where they would work after the graduation. So the last months of study every group spent up to its liking.
Marik Golubkov

Marik Golubkov

In our #14 group there was no problem of how to spend our free time at all. On the contrary there was a permanent problem of the lack of time for various entertainments. And there was a reason for that, practically everybody worked part-time at places they managed to get a job at. For instance, Marik Golubkov worked at a regional oncological clinic. Marik lived at Dzerzhinskiy street, at "Shveyka", near a confectionary producing plant.

At that time the confectionary producing plant of Kemerovo was famous. Candies were the most delicious. They were "Mishka Na Severe" and "Ananasnye" with waffle filling. And how tasty the candies called "Ptichie Moloko" or "Mishka Kosolapyi" were! With our entire group we used to visit Marik quite often in order to arrange a stag party or because of some other important and urgent business. So once because of another important and urgent business we gathered at Marik's place practically with all our group; except girls there was Zhenya Romashov, Vagram Agadzhanyan, Sasha Salmayer, Yura Slogub, Arkadiy Blyakher, your most humble servant and of course, Marik Golubkov,

Arkadiy Blyakher

Arkadiy Blyakher

as he was the owner of the apartment. We laid the table. Wine was typical for that time - port "777", but we had forgotten about snacks, so we sent Arkashka Blyakher to a store at Shveyka. That was literally across the street in a slanting direction from Marik's place. In about ten minutes Arkashka came back and brought two loafs of bread, which were even hot, and perhaps a kilo of "Dun'ka's Joy". To those who do not know I will explain, they are bonbons without a wrapper, very cheep.

Zhenya Romashov

Zhenya Romashov

Well, what could be done with him? Should we kill him or what? We discussed different ways of reprisal against Arkashka. Zhenya's attitude was the most ferocious. He undisputedly demanded to beat Arkashka up and suggested to assign him, Zhenya, to be the executor of the sentence. Generally speaking, all of us reprimanded Arkashka, it was unheard of to drink the "777" wine with bread and bonbons "Dun'ka's Joy". However, taking into considerations that he had bought hot bread with mouthwatering aroma and crunchy crust, we decided to feel sorry for him and not to give him to Zhenka for the execution. And there it occurred to us. Why did not we have an excursion around the confectionary producing plant? The idea was good. So in order not to waste the time, Arkasha and I headed to the confectionary plant to learn the details and make arrangements.

Oleg Syedyshev

Oleg Syedyshev

To our surprise, we were welcomed at the control post, when we said that we were doctors to be and loved Kemerovo candies, and that soon we were leaving for different cities, so we wanted to have an excursion at the confectionary plant to have something to remember. We were amazed, but after a telephone call of a front-door security, who repeated everything into the receiver, a director's secretary came down to pick us up and take us to the administration. The plant's director, the kindest woman ever, sincerely laughed at our story, but issued a "permission', on condition that we bring from the institute a motion with a request to arrange the excursion and a list of last names of everyone, who was supposed to participate in it. Arkasha and I swore that we would bring the paper the next day, and a day after would come with the whole group.

We returned to Marik's place and appreciated heroism of those who stayed at the apartment; all wine was untouched. Arkashka's and my story was listened to enthusiastically. Without any preliminary agreement we were lying about how difficult it had been for us and how much efforts we put into talking the director into that. I was singing the praises of Arkashka's skillfulness in persuading everybody in our sincere curiosity. Generally speaking, Arkashka was forgiven by everybody and even by Yevgeniy. Sure enough, we drank to friendship. It was collectively decided to send Yevgeniy Romashov to the Dean's office to ask for the motion, because nobody else could charm those who worked in the office. I was sent to accompany Zhenya as his support and cover just in case. It turned out that that was a wise decision. We came to the Dean's office in the morning, instead of attending a lecture, and the first question asked to Zhenya was: "And why are you not at the lecture?'. After yesterday's "The sevens' and such a barefaced question, Zhenya fell into a stupor, perhaps, because of indignation with idle curiosity of the office ladies. Without beating about the bush, I intervened, and bluntly announced that we had got a permission to leave from Mr.Krakovskiy, as we regularly assisted him during surgeries and were often on duty at the surgery department of a city hospital number three. My energy satisfied those at the office, and they started asking questions about the excursion and why it was arranged, who had been the initiator, and whether we would fail the institute, as there had never been any excursions of the kind before; and we produced an impression of smart guys, so we could do something wrong. The very last argument brought Yevgeniy out of the stupor and he started explaining to what degree we were decent, and even if we steal a chocolate bar, we would bring it to the Dean's office then. The ladies liked the statement; one of them typed on a typing machine "Moscow', there used to be one at the Therapeutics Department's office, the motion and gave last names of all the members of our group. There was a signature and a stamp as it had to be. We came to our group like heroes. We not just returned, but brought the paper.

Vagram Agadzhanyan

Vagram Agadzhanyan

We were getting ready for the excursion. Maybe someone thinks that it is easy and simple to go on an excursion. So that person is wrong. We were going to the excursion as if it was a top security task. I will tell you how I got equipped, the rest of us were getting ready in the same way, well, maybe with minor deviations. So I put on a tight turtleneck and a well-worn shirt, which could be soiled without any regret. And I put on the shirt over the turtleneck in such a way that it was baggy around me. It was planned to put on a doctor's coat over all that. When making the arrangements at the confectionary plant we had said that we would come in our own white coats. So I chose the biggest coat.
The next day after classes at the #3 city clinic, we came to the "shveyka' by tram. Vagram and I instigated the group to go by tram, as we had special IDs, which gave us a right to use electric public transportation in the city of Kemerovo for free. Vagram and I had withheld those IDs after our discharge from the tram garage where we washed trolleybuses.
Olya Ptitsina

Olya Ptitsina

They were already waiting for at the plant. Arkashka had called from the hospital that the motion had been issued as it had been asked at the plant. In a separate room we changed into doctor's coats in a presence of a person charged to accompany us, under her stern look. It was impossible to look at our group without laughter. Olya Ptitsina was in an elegant white coat, and the male half of the group all like one were wearing coats, which were five or six sizes bigger. We were like clowns, but not medical institute students.
The confectionary plant's employees had prepared for the excursion very well. The rout had been thought over in all details. We were allowed to eat as much as we could of the production, but were earnestly requested not to take anything out of the shops. Well, there was no question of that! The first shop we were brought into produced waffles.

Yura Sologub

Yura Sologub

That time, I remember, they were of lemon flavor. So, how much do you think an average Soviet student could eat? Even if he was about to graduate? He could eat a lot and stuff even more in his bosom. That was why I, like other guys, had put on a baggy shirt. I do not remember how many packs of waffles I hid in my bosom, a lot is for sure. Then we came to another shop, and there custard cakes were moving along the production line there, but we had already been stuffed with waffles. Nobody had had lunch before the excursion. We did not make things hum and upheld the honor of our dear institute; I believe each of us swallowed about five cakes. Though, one could not put a custard cake in his bosom. In the next shop we were brought to they produced caramel and of the biggest variety of flavors ever! There were fruit drops, sugar candies and a great variety of some other there.

All together we took out the waffles, which we had too much and could not bare even to look at them. Then there were toffees "Zolotoy Kluchik', and after that chocolate candies wrapped separately and also packed in boxes. And at every producing line we took out what we had stuffed before and got loaded with new production. It seemed to us that we were doing everything without being noticed, but everything was clearly visible. And heaps of the production we kind of secretly took out from our bosoms were a silent reproach for our irrepressible desire to sneak something. The last but one was a store room with nuts and huge bars of unprocessed chocolate, a kilo each or even more. I admit I lifted one of those bars from the store room.

Sasha Salmayer

Sasha Salmayer

I looked around, and it seemed that nobody else took that chocolate, and the guys were getting loaded with peanuts, pistachios and hazelnuts. However later, when we came to Marik's place, it turned out that Arkashka and Zhenka sneaked a bar of that chocolate as well. And at the plant we finally came to a shop, where they produced chocolate bars and pressed chocolate medals. We took them as well. We not only could not eat, we hated candies; we felt sick because of them. However one detail was left. Yevgeniy and I had promised at the Dean's office to bring chocolate. So we addressed our accompanying person, and asked for her permission to take a chocolate bar for ladies at the Dean's office.

Galya Vinnik

Galya Vinnik

And the accompanying person herself offered us a huge box of assorted chocolates. We asked her to make a call to the control post and tell them to let us leave with the box of candies. The next day they were very happy at the Dean's office and thanked us for the very well organized excursion. And after the excursion on the way to Marik's apartment we bought a battery of port "777' and were with excitement discussing results of the excursion. All together we decided to divide everything we had in our bosoms equally among all of us. Because, for instance, Olya Ptitsyna and Galya Vinnik were distracting the accompanying person with different questions and did not participate in the misappropriation of socialist property.
Instead of a conclusion I will say that after that excursion I could not eat candies for a long time.

10 October, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21207230596

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑


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