Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine

Generally speaking to write stories about the beautiful half of the graduates of Kemerovo State Medical Institute of 1972 from both the Medical Department and the Sanitary-Hygiene Department is a complicated and risky endeavor. In connection with that I remembered a pun of uncle Kolya Fomenkom, which I heard on "Russian Radio": "The weak half of the mankind is stronger than its strong half, and that is because of the weakness of the strong half for the weak one". Isn't it cool? It is my weakness for the weak half, because of which I am very much afraid to offend the weak half. Though, "if a job is once begun, never leave it till it's done!". Here is a short essay about examinations. Examinations are a bottomless well of subjects and stories. Here is one of them.

Nadya Nagornova, Natasha Androkhanova

Nadya Nagornova
Natasha Androkhanova

Exactly a half of a well known among the students of that time music group NASNANE: Nadya Nagornova and Natasha Androkhanova and one of their friends from the Sanitary - Hygiene Departmnet (san-hyg), Natasha as well (with your permission I will not mention her last name) were studying for a pharmacology exam. They studied hard and even used some innovations, as they like to say now.

The covered all the walls of the apartment they rented in Arochnaya street with pieces of paper with the medicines' formulae, which were difficult top remember. Instead of "Good morning" they named each other maximum single doze (m.s.d.) of various drugs. For instance, Nadya greeted Natasha, who just woke up: "Natasha, what is the m.s.d. of 0.1% atropine for children aged 4 - 7?" and the answer was: "Nadenka, if my memory does not fail me, it is 0,1 ml per year of life. And you tell me, please, what is the m.s.d. of menadiona Na Besulfit 1% solution?" And the answer came gaily: "Nadenlka, ask me about something more complicated; and there there is the same 0,1 ml per year of life". And the friends continued their study to become doctors. Don't laugh; everyone invents his or her own innovations, if one believes that they will help. In the trio NASNANE + Natasha, it was + Natasha who was a weak element. And she herself was aware of that, she even was convinced in that. In the head of Natasha from san-hyg everything got mixed up, she was diligently trying to remember everything Nadya and Natasha were talking about, but things got jumbled up in her head and was kind of slightly ringing, or maybe that was a song: "bells' ringing is heard from far away...". Natasha was upset and at the same time nervous.
It happened so that Nadya and Natasha (the girls from the music group NASNANE) and the Natasha from san-hyg had the exam on the same day, but the Natasha's one started earlier. The girls did their best to cheer her up and help her relax, but when the Natasha was at the door she said: "I remember nothing. I am a fool of all fools. Then she left. The girls talked sympathetically, but time could not be wasted, they smartened themselves up and went to take the exam. The passed the exam successfully. Now you are waiting for me to say things like: "Nadya got such and such, and Natasha got such and such.", alas, I am not saying anything of the kind; let it be the intrigue. They passed the exam successfully! And that was it. They were happy and chattering enthusiastically came back home to Arochnaya street. And Natasha from san-hyg was already at home and was sleeping. The girls ran up to her, tried to wake her up, she did not react, they sniffed, but there was no any particular smell. So they concluded that she was exhausted and let her rest.
In the evening Natasha's group mate came worried to their place and asked if anything wrong had happened to Natasha, because she had missed the party to celebrate the successful outcome of the pharmacology exam. From her the girls learned that Natasha got a "sat", and that the rest of her group had passed the exam and were merrily celebrating such an important event in students' life as passing "the pharma". And then Nadya and Natasha became seriously worried. They started shaking and slapping Natasha in order to awake her, and finally she woke up. The made her eat and gave her tea.

Though Natasha was absolutely remote and fell asleep right away. It was only in the next morning when the girls, who were dying because of curiosity learned the story of Natasha's taking the exam.
Natasha came to the exam hungry, as it was her tradition. We remember how depressed she was, because she could not remember anything up to the point of hearing ringing in her head. When she had arrived to the department everybody had noticed how nervous she had been. So somebody, but she could not remember who, suggested her taking three tablets of Aminazine, and you remember that Natalia ate noting before the exam.

There was the pharmacology exam, and one had to know that the tablets or dragee of Aminazine were of 10mg, 25 mg, 50mg and 100mg. So you can calculate how much totally she had taken 30 mg or 300mg. One had better found that well-wisher and as Badri Lipartiya liked to say: "I'll kill the scum!", well, maybe not killed, but whacked him in the face for sure. Natalia had taken the tablets to calm down and went to the exam right after that.

Well, everything was as usual: she came in, took an examination paper and set down to prepare. While she was looking around she felt fine. Then she tried to read the examination paper and the lines blurred. After that Natahsa's memory was jerky: she went to answer, but felt shaky. When she started talking, she became tongue-tied. They started making fuss around her. It became clear that she was not well, so it was decided to give her a "satisfactory" grade and send her home with peace, out of harm's way. Natalia could not remember clearly that part. She did not remember how she had walked home, gone to sleep, how the girls had woken her up in the evening and made her eat and drink.

Department head associate professor N.N.Aleutskiy

Department head
associate professor N.N.Aleutskiy

Yeah, there could be a tragedy. If Aleutskiy only knew about the reason of Natalia's "indisposition", he would have hardly allowed to give her a "sat".
As you see Nadya and Natasha had a purpose when they greeted each other with maximum single doses of medicines!!!

The story for the essay was kindly given by N.K.Svechnikova.

august, 23 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21204250922

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content