Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
If now to start remembering really hard, then it becomes clear that all professors of the Pharmacology Department were very strict and exacting. Sure enough, there was some sympathy and some antipathy felt for them, however basically students were afraid of them and had no special liking for them. Nevertheless when Vitya Kiss learned that in his group the course would be conducted neither by Sazykin, nor Sapozhnikov or Borovskikh, but by Nikolay Nikolayevitch Aleutskiy, he liked the news.Associate professor N.N.Aleutskiy
It was not without a reason rumored among the students that Aleutskiy was a man of his word, and he should be given a credit for he was exactly that way. He did what he had promised that time as well; nobody in the group passed the exam after the first attempt. Of course, it was nice to deal with the man of his word, but the statement did not refer to the given situation. What was going on; only part of the group passed the exam after the second try? And Vitya was not one of them; he was assigned to take the pharmacology exam once again on 24 August!!! And what it meant? That meant say farewell to summer vacations. However Victor had a wonderful trait, he even did not notice it in his character first, not to mention others. Vitya could accept misfortune, which was a significant constituent of achieving happiness. Sure enough that that summer he did not think about those philosophical maxims; it was much later when he discovered the trait in himself, and it downed on him like enlightenment, like a bolt from the blue. Yeah, they are not born wise, but become like that, unfortunately not all. Vitya and two of his friends, who also got added evidence of striking any imagination honesty of Nikolay Nikolayevitch, had to stop at the end of their rope on 24 August, after that there was looming an expel. The guys got really concentrated and studied, studied and studied again. They studied so hard, that they even decided to leave their homes for the final two weeks to avoid temptations, and they did not feel like communicating with anyone. So, there was the re-examination. If they used a tear-off calendar in Vitya’s family, they would‘ve for sure saved the page of 24 August as a relic.
The last 18 students, who had been unlucky enough to fail the exam, gathered at the department. Everybody was waiting for Nikolay Nikolayevitch. He came at nine, as usually clean-shaved, and elegantly dressed. “What a dandy”, some students thought; “What a scum” – the other thought. Here is for you unity and conflict of opposites in one person, even though an attractive one, but of the head of the department. Victor and his buddies clustered together and were trying to prompt to each other. Aleutskiy heard that and loudly announced that Vitya’s prompts were incorrect, and it seemed to him, meaning Aleutskiy, that Vitya would fail again… Poor Victor, he sweated so much that his shirt stuck to his back, and everything vanished out of his mind. He was just sitting and waiting what everything would end up with. The first heroes went to answer and received a satisfactory grade each, nevertheless they were happy and darted out of the room; so there was Vitya’s turn to go to Aleutskiy, like a rabbit to a boa. I remember about forty or fifty year ago there was a song with the following words:
“And you keep saying over again that there are no miracles in life.
Well, what can I answer? They are there.
There are so many miracles in life, that all of them cannot even be counted.”
The song was splashing ardour and enthusiasm; and a miracle happened. It appeared in person of an associate professor of the Pharmacology department Popova, who at the very moment entered the examination room with the following words:” Nikolay Nokolayevitch, I decided to help you.”
Aleutskiy: “Oh, no, you should not give yourself the trouble”.
The associate professor Popova: “No, Nikolay Nikolayevitch, I cannot tolerate that you are working so hard, when on vacation”.
Aleutskiy, a well-known ladies man, sure enough agreed; so Popova loudly asked: “Who’s next?” Everybody was silent looking at Victor and Aleutskiy, who in his turn was also looking at Vitya Kiss. Yeah, there was some situation. Victor became dumb and was silent as well, but looking down at the floor. So Popova feeling great, as she came to help her boss, cheerfully approached the desk and picked up a random student’s record book.
Now try to guess, whose record book she took? You are smart and guessed right away that that was Victor’s. Wow, what a mixture of feelings he had at the moment – joy, delight and some enlightenment. And how well he was answering; Good Lord, how enthusiastically he was talking about single doses of medicines and ratio of intake! It was like a song, and I would even say like a serenade. Vitya’s buddies quickly estimated the situation and one after another went to answer to Nikolay Nikolayevitch, who was listening to Viktor’s answer spellbound; he gave satisfactory grades to both of them with his eyes closed. And inspired Vitya remembered even what he had never known, and it was unlikely that he would’ve remembered that in a different situation, even if a machinegun was pointed at him. Popova was satisfied, she was about to give Viktor a good grade, and announced that out loud. Poor Nikolay Nikolayevitch almost had a stroke: “He does not know anything!!!” - he yelled. Popova answered quite calmly: “His answer was excellent!!!” – “Though we have a rule to put only satisfactory grades for re-examinations”. So they agreed on that. And during the argument an agile girl got a sat from N. N. Aleutskiy and went out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her, though nobody cared about that.
12 April, 2012
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #214040300511
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑