Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss

If now to start remembering really hard, then it becomes clear that all professors of the Pharmacology Department were very strict and exacting. Sure enough, there was some sympathy and some antipathy felt for them, however basically students were afraid of them and had no special liking for them. Nevertheless when Vitya Kiss learned that in his group the course would be conducted neither by Sazykin, nor Sapozhnikov or Borovskikh, but by Nikolay Nikolayevitch Aleutskiy, he liked the news.
Associate professor N.N.Aleutskiy

Associate professor N.N.Aleutskiy

Aleutskiy was the head of the department and students considered him a man of his word, if he promised something, then he would do that without fail. Students’ bush telegraph did not have any rumors about him being especially hard on students. That was nice. Generally speaking long before his first class, there was if not mellow, then for sure not nervous atmosphere in the group concerning pharmacology. So in such working mood the group came to the first “pharma” class. However it turned out that Vitya relaxed too early. There was a lot of talking afterwards, but nobody could find the reason, why Nikolay Nikolayevitch had not liked the group form the very first classes. What had happened, when happened and how happened, nobody had even the smallest idea, but the fact remained, and failed tests were pouring on the group, as if from the horn of plenty. Of course, they were passed later, though the new ones appeared without any delay; all that led to the situation, when before an examination Aleutskiy announced that nobody would pass it from the first try. The group grew numb with astonishment. How come? Why? Anticipation of death is worse than death itself. “And why to study and strain ourselves, if we do not pass it anyway?”. Voices of that kind sounded louder and louder in the group. However majority of the students studied, crammed and ground away at their books.
It was not without a reason rumored among the students that Aleutskiy was a man of his word, and he should be given a credit for he was exactly that way. He did what he had promised that time as well; nobody in the group passed the exam after the first attempt. Of course, it was nice to deal with the man of his word, but the statement did not refer to the given situation. What was going on; only part of the group passed the exam after the second try? And Vitya was not one of them; he was assigned to take the pharmacology exam once again on 24 August!!! And what it meant? That meant say farewell to summer vacations. However Victor had a wonderful trait, he even did not notice it in his character first, not to mention others. Vitya could accept misfortune, which was a significant constituent of achieving happiness. Sure enough that that summer he did not think about those philosophical maxims; it was much later when he discovered the trait in himself, and it downed on him like enlightenment, like a bolt from the blue. Yeah, they are not born wise, but become like that, unfortunately not all. Vitya and two of his friends, who also got added evidence of striking any imagination honesty of Nikolay Nikolayevitch, had to stop at the end of their rope on 24 August, after that there was looming an expel. The guys got really concentrated and studied, studied and studied again. They studied so hard, that they even decided to leave their homes for the final two weeks to avoid temptations, and they did not feel like communicating with anyone. So, there was the re-examination. If they used a tear-off calendar in Vitya’s family, they would‘ve for sure saved the page of 24 August as a relic.

However, there was no calendar.
The last 18 students, who had been unlucky enough to fail the exam, gathered at the department. Everybody was waiting for Nikolay Nikolayevitch. He came at nine, as usually clean-shaved, and elegantly dressed. “What a dandy”, some students thought; “What a scum” – the other thought. Here is for you unity and conflict of opposites in one person, even though an attractive one, but of the head of the department. Victor and his buddies clustered together and were trying to prompt to each other. Aleutskiy heard that and loudly announced that Vitya’s prompts were incorrect, and it seemed to him, meaning Aleutskiy, that Vitya would fail again… Poor Victor, he sweated so much that his shirt stuck to his back, and everything vanished out of his mind. He was just sitting and waiting what everything would end up with. The first heroes went to answer and received a satisfactory grade each, nevertheless they were happy and darted out of the room; so there was Vitya’s turn to go to Aleutskiy, like a rabbit to a boa. I remember about forty or fifty year ago there was a song with the following words:

“And you keep saying over again that there are no miracles in life.
Well, what can I answer? They are there.
There are so many miracles in life, that all of them cannot even be counted.”

The song was splashing ardour and enthusiasm; and a miracle happened. It appeared in person of an associate professor of the Pharmacology department Popova, who at the very moment entered the examination room with the following words:” Nikolay Nokolayevitch, I decided to help you.”
Aleutskiy: “Oh, no, you should not give yourself the trouble”.
The associate professor Popova: “No, Nikolay Nikolayevitch, I cannot tolerate that you are working so hard, when on vacation”.
Aleutskiy, a well-known ladies man, sure enough agreed; so Popova loudly asked: “Who’s next?” Everybody was silent looking at Victor and Aleutskiy, who in his turn was also looking at Vitya Kiss. Yeah, there was some situation. Victor became dumb and was silent as well, but looking down at the floor. So Popova feeling great, as she came to help her boss, cheerfully approached the desk and picked up a random student’s record book.

Now try to guess, whose record book she took? You are smart and guessed right away that that was Victor’s. Wow, what a mixture of feelings he had at the moment – joy, delight and some enlightenment. And how well he was answering; Good Lord, how enthusiastically he was talking about single doses of medicines and ratio of intake! It was like a song, and I would even say like a serenade. Vitya’s buddies quickly estimated the situation and one after another went to answer to Nikolay Nikolayevitch, who was listening to Viktor’s answer spellbound; he gave satisfactory grades to both of them with his eyes closed. And inspired Vitya remembered even what he had never known, and it was unlikely that he would’ve remembered that in a different situation, even if a machinegun was pointed at him. Popova was satisfied, she was about to give Viktor a good grade, and announced that out loud. Poor Nikolay Nikolayevitch almost had a stroke: “He does not know anything!!!” - he yelled. Popova answered quite calmly: “His answer was excellent!!!” – “Though we have a rule to put only satisfactory grades for re-examinations”. So they agreed on that. And during the argument an agile girl got a sat from N. N. Aleutskiy and went out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her, though nobody cared about that.

12 April, 2012

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #214040300511

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content