Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 174. Bear's disease

It is reasonable to assume that policemen, sorry, cops, are all law-abiding. And dietitians are all slim, well, and all doctors are healthy and don’t have any diseases. Well, as the saying goes, man proposes, God disposes. There are lots of most different cases. Let me tell you about one of them.

I have already written that Tolya Veselov thanks to Sherstennikov’s efforts happened to be placed on a job at the end of the world, or to put it in a simple way, at Muriuk. Anatoliy should be given a credit that he was not plunged in depression, but vigorously was introducing health into lives of the masses of local population. Very often calls for a physician were scattered around taiga settlements and villages. Tolik was lucky to have a medical assistant from the locals. He knew the area like the back of his hand. And if I tell you that he was also a competent male nurse, you will understand, why Tolya forgave him his weak sides. One of his weak points was fishing.

He was just a great fisherman, though the fact that he could talk about nothing, but fishing, made others go crazy. If to believe Semen, then there was taimen (species of salmon) everywhere, even in small springs in the neighborhood, and they were not less than a meter big, at least he personally was catching fish only that big. Tolik knew all Semen’s fish stories, but never interrupted him to say that he had already heard that. And Semen liked him for that, and when there was a call from a distant settlement he himself harnessed their horses and came to Anatoliy with the horses ready to go.
It was exactly that way on the first of May, when they received a call from Olginka.

The weather was great, the sun was glaring, and the sky was clear and blue and fathomless deep. It was warm, so Tolya and Semen was walking driving their horses to the bit. The scenario was well-tested and run many times; Tolik was deep in his own thoughts, and Semen was talking without ceasing. He was telling his old fish story pretending it was the brand new one. Tolya sometimes added to the monologue his exclamations: “Really!” or “Wow!”. Suddenly Semen stopped talking, and his face fell, the horses became alert.

Tolya turned around and got numb with terror; he saw a huge bear though at a distance. For some reason Semen shouted: “Come on, start singing”. Tolya would sing gladly, but all he could think of was alphabet: “A, B, C, D, E…”, nevertheless the guys hopped on their horses and started with a jerk to the turn without looking back. They were flying like whirlwind, the horses were wheezing, but carried their riders. Later Tolik confessed that only then he learned what it was like to have a “bear’s disease”, when they say “pants are loaded with fear”.

So again in an easy and simple way I proved that doctors too can suffer diseases, even though the “bear’s” ones.

Wikipedia informs: “Bear’s disease in modern interpretation means unexpected diarrhea caused by severe fright, nervous tension”.

February, 15 2014

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
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Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content