Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, please
For two years the students are trained before they meet patients. For two years they study different subjects. And there the third year comes. By that time all the students become owners of stethoscopes and tonometers. And when we were students there was a fashion to replace producer's rubber pipes on stethoscopes by the pipes of a kidney machine or at least of a disposable dropper. At that time those were extremely hard to get things. Somehow it happened so that those pipes were found somewhere, and many of us had them. Anyway all the students of my group had them.So to the subjects we studied there was added propaedeutics of internal diseases. Professors did their best to teach us palpation, percussion and auscultation to examine patients. Theory goes first. We were taking into our heads that (the following is according to Wikipedia) palpation (from Latin palpatio -stroking) is one of the main methods of clinical examination, based on sensing by an examiner of various textures of a patient's tissue and organs when palpating them, and on assessing of the patient's feelings during the examination. The method allows to determine location of some organs and pathological formations, to assess some physical parameters of the examined tissues and organs: firmness, elasticity, character of natural motion, temperature, as well as to determine painful areas, identify location and type of trauma. Everyone was familiar with that method even before the study. When you strike against something, you involuntarily rub and feel the spot.
The next method (from Medical Encyclopedia) of percussion consists of tipping on some areas of a body and analyzing internal sounds, caused by this. By the type and characteristics of the sound a doctor determines topography of internal organs, their physical condition and to some extend their function. That method was more complicated. One had to know the technique of tapping of different organs and tones of tissues' sounds and tones when percussion is performed, for instance, in case of pneumonia.
And the last one (from Wikipedia) is auscultation (from Latin auscultatio); this is a method of physical diagnostics in therapy, phthisiology, cardiology, obstetrics, pulmonology, and more seldom in surgery; it consists of listening to the sounds, which are formed in man's parenchymatous and hollow organs. Auscultation can be direct - when an ear is pressed against the organ to be examined, and indirect - with the help of special devices (stethoscope, phonendoscope). Like I have already said, every student had a stethoscope. When we had seminars or lectures, practically all of us had stethoscopes hanging on our necks. We were extremely proud of ourselves and considered ourselves to be real doctors. So at the very beginning of a fall semester, after another seminar, during which Lena Sokhareva's group studied heart sounds and types of lung respiration, the students were finally trusted to supervise patients. The students were divided into groups of two and sent to the patients, but the medical reports were hidden in order not to let the students read them and copy everything from them.
Lena and her friend got a good patient. He was eagerly talking, describing his complaints and telling the anamnesis. Lena's friend was leading the conversation, and Lena was diligently writing everything. They came to the point when the patient had to be examined. Lena's friend in a bright white starched doctor's smock, a stethoscope clipped on her neck according to the third year students' fashion, approached the patient, took the stethoscope and pressed it to the patient's chest and loudly and confidently started describing what she was hearing during the auscultation: Breath sounds are amphoric, and there is the second tone's accent, and Lena, like in Shifrin's sketch (Yefim Shifrin is a popular comic actor) was writing and writing. And there the patient spoke to them looking down. He spoke somewhat quietly, but the whole group heard: Miss, when I had been examined before, those little things (he pointed at the stethoscope's branches) had been put into ears. The group was laughing till the end of the training playing up the situation in different ways. That was how the first supervision went in Lena Sokhareva's group. I will repeat myself, the first supervision.
Associate professor G.L.Khasis
The plot was kindly given by Elena Zhuk.
15 October, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21206220646
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑