Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 153. Resonance
Believe me, I ask you very much indeed. It’s not my fault that I again and again come back to those last names. And what I am saying, not to the last names, but to the people, to the professors.It happens so that I’ve written the essay “Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh”, the twelfth one about the unforgettable Boris Feodorovitch Golubev, a professor of Social Sciences department, a very clever man and boozer, and a wonderful lecturer. Yes, at his lectures we, the graduates of Kemerovo medical institute of 1972, did anything we pleased, played sea battle, ouths and crosses, and the most reckless even played cards. Golubev B.F. lived near the institute. He had four boys. His wife worked at a cloakroom at the Sanitary-Hygiene building, and sometimes he could be met at the cloakroom, when he was substituting for his wife, who had left on some urgent business home. We, students, usually felt shy at the meetings, and he helped us feel at ease saying, when you got married, we would see what tricks you would play. However his lectures were interesting, he was reading them the way they were remembered. Just tell me how we, greenhorn students, could not remember the following confidence of Boris Feodorovitch he shared with us at his class. Once at his lecture he was explaining, I do not remember what exactly, something about relativity. So he gave the following example; I am telling it from his name: “Once during a break between lectures I came home really quickly, because of necessity. It was extremely hot, and I was very thirsty. In the kitchen on a windowsill I noticed a bottle of beer, though not a full one. I was grateful to my wife, that she had left half a bottle for me, drank it in one gulp and hurried back to the institute. In the evening Zina asked me, whether I had seen a bottle on the windowsill. I replied that I’d seen it, and thanked her for the beer, that I had drunk it and put the bottle into a closet. And she started scolding me, as that was our son’s urine she had prepared to take for a test.”
There were the maxims he used at his lectures stating that everything was relative.
B.F.Golubev
So after I posted the first essay in the internet, I started receiving e-mails from readers; and they were sending me plots of stories about Igor Victorovitch Golubev (see essay “Winter Examinations”) as well. He was a good man, an excellent specialist, but the demon drink did not spare him too. What we did at the exam conducted by Boris Feodorovitch, when we poured vodka instead of water into a carafe for him, students did more than once at examinations conducted by Igor Victorovitch. And everything was just wonderful: the students and Igor Victorovitch were satisfied. Irina Gulnyashkina’s group was aware of all that and prepared for an exam correspondingly. At the beginning of the exam, when the first students were already with their examination papers and were preparing, to be more exact, closely watching Golubev, when he would check the carafe. Well, it should be said that it did not take them long. Golubev made a couple of rounds along the class room, approached a desk and carelessly, as if unwillingly, poured about twenty-thirty grams from the carafe into a glass and took a sip. And there one had to see Igor Viktorovitch. On his face, like in kaleidoscope, there were changing various expressions from expectation to complete satisfaction, and then, as if he remembered something, he carefully closed the carafe and said to the students: “I will be back soon” and quickly went out of the room, leaving the students by themselves without any control.
And it is true, in those days, in Kemerovo they were selling very tasty round fried meat pies. Those who studied or lived in Kemerovo remember that there were many kiosks, equipped with big frying pans, where meat pies were fried. Back then they cost 19 kopeks, but their taste was worthy a whole ruble.
29 April, 2012
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #214040300507
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑