Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia

That time a "kitchen conversation" between Natasha and me started in a car. We were driving to the State Opera to watch the ballet "Don Quixote" and got in a car jam right between Russian and American embassies.

So the location and waiting in the jam made us feel like talking "about life". Natasha categorically stated that everything, which was done by Putin and Medvedev was wrong. Things must not be done that way. For instance in America one serves for four years and if he is lucky stays for eight years, and that's it, let another one take the position. An amazing thing is that she has nothing against Putin personally, but those around him annoy her, especially a plump phiz of the Defense Minister Serdyukov.

I mitigated Natasha's definition of the irritating her object, she said more definitely and called the phiz "a mug", and the definition of "plump" sounded like thick from her. You know, I agreed with her about that. Inspired Natalek abruptly changed the topic and stated that Hilary Clinton had been wrong when she announced to mass media that she had a lot of important things to do compared to make up and cosmetics, and she would spend her time on them. Natasha made a categorical conclusion: "No wonder that Bill makes passes at various Monicas Lewinskys!"

Then she abruptly changed the subject again and stated that Putin hid his wife somewhere, perhaps he also wanted to make a pass at some Russian "Monica Lewinsky". That part of life of politicians is not interesting for me, so I tried to make Natasha return to, as it seemed to me, more important topic. Anyway it is good that Putin won, and not the goblin Mironov. I would not be against Mikhail Prokhorov, even more that we together were on vacation on Maldives in December, 2009, and our villas were near. We nodded to each other when met, and Mikhail seemed to me to be a decent man, and that he had brought about twenty broads with him was wonderful, that was for high spirits. Well as soon as Putin had one, I was telling Natasha, then, perhaps he would be able to prove the name of "the gatherer of the Russian lands" to be true for him. Look, what project of corporation around Siberia and the Far East he had started.

And why not, it makes a fine line of Ivan Kalita, Peter the First, Vladimir Putin...

Of course, it's a long process, but if attractive conditions are offered, exactly attractive, then from the former Soviet republics there would be attracted not all, but the deprived and offended ethnical Russians, they would gladly go to the new lands. Yes, and it would be nice to offer them an extremely simplified procedure of acquiring citizenship. Well, and Zhirinovsky's idea of offering Japan the territories for resettlement could be implemented...
And if there are significant benefits for business, it is better to grant exemption from taxes; then money will flow there like river. Natasha agrees with me, though expresses a doubt, that the benefits will reach average citizens. Officials with similarly "plump phizes" like the one of Serdyukov (she got fixed on the Serdyukov, however, it is true, the case with swear words was a sickening one) will appropriate the benefits and put them into their pockets. It is difficult to change our mentality, oh, it is tough. However in agreement with the very postulate that it is difficult to reshape our mentality, a slogan: "Altogether to Siberia!!!" might take trump cards out of the opposition's hands and lower the tension of people's resentment. As we, the Russians, are quick-moving, remember how many enthusiasts went to new lands or to build Baikal-Amur Railroad. Of course, these days romanticism gives way to money, however this is not worse.

I was telling Natasha all that nonsense until we reached the Opera. We liked the ballet very much. They were dancing beautifully, and on our way back we thought not about politics, but were enthusiastically discussing adagio-duets, grand-pas and divertissement of the ballet finale, well, and as for Bazile fouette, of course, it was marvelous.

That's why life is wonderful, we are not able to know future, and this causes lots of emotions, and to guess and assume is often a thankless task, let's leave it to fortune tellers and predictors. Though Vanga predicted that prosperity of Russia will start under Vladimir...

12 May, 2012

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #213103001336

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content