Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 47. Unus - one out of five

Senior instructor G.P.Pronina

Senior instructor

Of course, Galina Petrovna Pronina, and among the students "Obliqua" - squint-eyed, enjoyed her students' respect, but even she could not make everybody sit quietly during her classes and repeat in chorus: "in nomine patris, et filii; et spiritus santi, ..." or "Otium reficit vires".

The students played pranks and did that in various ways, harmlessly and sometimes maliciously. Though youthful maximalizm of most of them did not allow them to critically estimate and cast away spiteful tricks. For instance, you remember a course of physiology at the institute, remember, all of us studied Pavlov's reflexes and conducted the experiments with a lamp and electric shock on ourselves. You remember there was a rheostat there, which switched on the minimal tension current. In our group Slavka Sizikov was chosen to be an experimental object, and the current of 220 volt was switched on!? Well, I agree, that we were boobies, I agree that people may have individual intolerance to electric current. Though to know that one had to study for six years and then had medical practice for forty years more. And who thought about all that then? Slavka fell down from the chair, and everybody was laughing happily. And nobody asked Slavka how he was. The guys were playing pranks. So, coming back to Obliqua; the students leaned over backwards to play tricks in spite of all the strictness at her classes.
Senior instructor V.I.Konontsev

Senior instructor

In group #41 of dentists there was a guy from Ukraine whose last name was Gudis. Nobody remembered his first name, everyone called him Gudis. He was a great guy, never argued with anyone, favorably tolerated jokes, and most different ones. He even was smiling as if he himself was guilty. Well, in the most extreme cases he used to say in a calm and low voice: "Yes, yes, and I saw you somewhere, too...". That was the way he answered even the instructors. The guys did their best to learn the meaning of the phrase from him. And only once when Gudis pronounced the phrase addressed to an instructor of the Physical Training Department V.I.Konontsev as a reply to a reprimand for his coming to the class without his uniform, Kostya Romashov literally pressed him down demanding where he could see him, meaning Kononstev?

And there Gudis broke down and talked: "In a coffin". Kostya dropped his jaw. Though, after that he did his best to avoid being an object of that kind of an answer from Gudis.

Kostya Romashov

Kostya Romashov

And in the very #41 group there was a guy, I am not giving his name, though if some of the readers recognizes him, it will be not my problem. So the guy was making a nuisance of himself to all the professors and fawned upon them. It was obvious that professors, too, did not like that behavior, but the guy did not notice anything or maybe did not want to notice. So once Kostya Romashov as if it was for himself (and Kostya sat at the same desk with the obnoxious guy at Obliqua's classes) pinned to a doctor's smock of Gudis, who sat in front of him, a piece of paper as if with a pony for himself.
And Obliqua had a tradition to start her class with repeating popular quotations in Latin. And that time Obliqua as usual offered to repeat what one remembered. And the guy bit at the bait, which had been prepared for him. He enthusiastically raised his hand even jumped a bit with impatience.

Obliqua's always gloomy face with a gaze directed nobody knew where nodded at him and said: "Yes". So the upstart got up and like a poet in a singing voice (he believed that that was the way Obliqua liked) started reading what was written on Gudis' back. Sure enough Gudis knew nothing about the pony. "Gudis, Gudis - phemeninum...", there was a light laughter in the room, and Obliqua stared at the answering. Gudis said in his manner practically not turning around: "Yes, I saw you somewhere, too...". The guy did not notice anything and continued reading from the piece of paper: "Fortuna non penis in manus non recipe" (I am asking for your pardon, but I could not cast away the words from the song.)

The guy finished, and Obliqua with perfect calm announced: "Unus, one of five". And there the group could not stand that any longer and burst into loud laughter. And the laughter was hysterical, so Obliqua announced a five minutes break for everyone to calm down.

The facts for the story were kindly given by K.D.Romashov.

august, 21 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21204250916

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content