Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 24. Sambo
No matter how funny it may seem to those who know me, but I will inform you that in 1967 I was a sambo champion of the institute in my weight category.It was, if I am not mistaken, a light weight category. I had never considered myself and athlete. I had no athletic ambitions. At school, like other kids, I used various tricks not to attend physical training classes. Though, I tried to play in a children's or, as it was called, Junior Bandy team of Kedrovskiy opencast mine. But when a so called bandy ball came flying at my forehead, I quitted doing it. It was not a ball, but a grenade! I had a minor brain concussion for sure. In general, I did not do any sports at school. It was a different matter, when together with my friend Vitya Belkov we skipped classes and with our fishing rods went fishing gudgeons to the dam of Kedrovka...
Vitya Belkov
Though, the institute curriculum included a physical training course. And a pass from that department, no matter whether the students wanted that or not, had to be in a student's record book. One could receive the pass only when diligently attending all classes and passing all qualifying standards or joining a sports group. I chose the second.
Vagram was doing volleyball, and tried to persuade me to enroll in the group as well. Why sambo? It just happened so that I had known Volodya Kravchenko long before, even not knowing that he trained a sambo sports group at the institute. I'll say honestly that I tired to talk Krava (this is how we called him) into reporting to the Department that everything was "O.K." and not to torture me. But being usually gentle and kind, Volodya demonstrated such firmness, that I held my tongue. He said that he would not allow me, knowing my character, to say that I was trained by Kravchenko and not to master any of holds, and to be beaten up in the very first fight, not being able to protect myself.
Oleg Syedyshev
Nevertheless training after training I felt more confident and mastered ankle trips, and holds and painful holds. I was made to train hard also by the fact that every time my friends: Datto Ibidze, Ditto Mkheidze and Ilgam Gasimov came to visit me at the training. They could come at any moment, so I was doing my best for them not to see me hanging around. At the training they cheered vigorously every time I performed a good throw or a hold. Of course, they were playing thrilled fans, but still that stimulated me a lot and tickled my nerves in a nice way.
Gasanov Ilgam Riza Ogly, Datto Ibidze, Ditto Mkheidze, Oleg Syedyshev
Volodya advised me about some helpful wrestling rules of thumb. For some reason I remembered only one: one should always stick to the innermost ring of the mat so that, if the opponent performed a successful gimmick, to be thrown out of the bounds of the mat, and then the opponent's points did not count. Yes, for the first three bouts I regularly flew out of the bounds. Ouch, it was very painful to crash with a face to the floor boards of the gym of the institute's morphological building. And the guys, my fans, were cheering and shouting at me. Yet, the first three matches I won by the accumulated points. My throws were right into the center of the mat. There came the final bout. My opponent was from the Sanitary and Hygiene Department; I do not remember his last name, I guess, I never knew it. Oh, he was quite a strong and persistent guy. He, like a post, stood fast on his feet, and I could not perform any of the moves. I was even given a notice for avoiding contact. The opponent had already thrown me a couple of times, though, out of the mat again. My friends were raving, they demanded that I tear the opponent into pieces or not call them friends any more. So several seconds before the end of the match I performed a "power" maneuver: a hip toss with a hold of an arm to perform a painful hold of an elbow joint. According to the rules, if one holds the painful hold for certain time, he is considered the winner, and if the opponent who is held gives a cry when he is held by a painful hold, then the victory is called an absolute one. So, I was holding my opponent's arm and to keep him still tried to fix his body with my leg. Perhaps, I unintentionally hurt his weak point, and my opponent gave a howl.
Of course, I would win with just a painful hold, but to have an absolute victory in the final match - that was especially nice. How my friends and I celebrated my championship is a totally different story. The next day I was called to the Physical Training Department and given a pass.
july 14, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202101805
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑