Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 83. Now A Kiss!

I've always said and will keep saying in the future that an operative surgery and topographic anatomy examination, or the operative exam, as it is called by students-medics, is similar to a strength of materials examination engineering students take, they even say: "After you passed a strength of materials exam, you can get married!" It happened so that the curriculum and administration of Kemerovo Medical Institute had arranged so that the operative anatomy examination was taken by Pediatric Department and Therapy Department students on the same day during their winter examinations. Elena Sokhareva was confident that she would pass the borderline between single and married life examination, which was scheduled on 4 January.

She was eager to change her last name of Sokhareva for Zhuk; so without any hesitation she set her wedding on 24 January. Well, of course, it was not exactly she and, of course, not exactly fixed the day, though she did not object to the date for sure. Lena started studying for the operative exam as early as in September. She answered practically at every class and passed a test according to the curriculum. It happened so that on 28 December, literally a week before the exam, only two people in the group passed the test: the group monitor and Elena Sokhareva. A helping hand had to be held out to the group. We did not give it a long thought, so Lena together with the group monitor came to A.M.Shklovskiy to the Operative Surgery Department. It was he, who supervised Elena's group. One couldn't say that they fell to their knees before him, though very sorrowfully they informed Ariel Mendeleyevitch that Elena's wedding was set on 31 December, but the group did not want to be present at it, because none of them had passed the test. Lena got carried away and so much got into her role that tears came into her eyes. Well, who did not know Ariel Mendeleyevitch? He was a man of the kindest soul ever. He sincerely loved students. He was aware that they quite often lied to him, however he pretended to believe their stories and always, I would like to stress, always met their wishes,

and for that he rather often was reprimanded by Y.N.Sherstennikov. However in Elena's case Shklovskiy even did not hesitate. He had known her as a diligent and competent student; and there was such an event - a wedding! Ariel Mendeleyevitch told them to bring quickly student record books of the group. Should that be repeated twice? They were back in a flash, as it is said. In a couple of hours Lena and the group monitor were back at the department and together in order to speed the process up were handing Shklovskiy open on the needed page student record books, and he only signed them, because everything had been written there beforehand. Well, what was next? Only the one, who had never been a student, would have doubts about what was next. Of course, there was a party.

After a cafe "Sovremennik" had been open in Kemerovo, which was near a city park, the cafe became a favorite place of students-medics. Well, sure enough, the party to celebrate the group's test results was arranged there. We tried to chair Elena and the group monitor, and only their active resistance stopped us from doing that. Then the group made Elena promise that on 4 January she would come to the exam with a wedding ring on her finger. Well, Lena not only promised, but did so. She came to take the exam and unintentionally her finger with the ring was in such a position that anyone could notice it. It is true, when they say that love gives wings. At the exam Elena almost started answering without any preparation, but luckily changed her mind, as that was the operative exam and it was not to be sneezed at. Elena knew theoretical questions and gave answers to Sherstennikov, who was sitting at the head of the table, and received an excellent grade. After that it was necessary to demonstrate answers on a corpse. That part of the exam was conducted by Ariel Mendeleyevitch. Sherstennikov from his seat asked Elena to show the upper mesenteric artery. There was the devil knew what in Lena's head, but not the operative surgery for sure. So she pointed a pincers somewhere. Shklovskiy's kind eyes became sad. He turned to the examination commission and said: "Correct". However Sherstennikov's inquisitiveness was well known; so he asked to show the lower mesenteric artery then. Elena with the pincers turned over a cluster of organs and pointed at the very same artery she pointed the first time.

She was aware that she was demonstrating the wrong organ, but feigned a clever face. Shklovskiy's eyes became not only sad, but grew bigger. It was funny to watch him at that moment. He knew very well that Lena was a good student and knew everything she was asked about at the examination. So he again announced to Sherstennikov that Lena demonstrated everything correctly. She was given an excellent grade. Shklovskiy took Lena's arm and led her to the door accompanied by Sherstennikov's applause, and whispered into her ear: "Sokhareva, your marriage obviously did not do any good to you. Your honey moon took all your wonderful knowledge away, nevertheless accept my congratulations".

At the wedding the group, like at the party to celebrate the results of the test, was partying at its full strength and happily and enthusiastically shouting: "Now a kiss!".

The plot of the story is courtesy of Elena Zhuk.

13 November, 2011.

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21210010309

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content