Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 166. The first vacation

Like at any other hospital back in those days, at the regional hospital of the Ministry of Internal Affairs they started making a schedule of vacations. Sasha Popovitch very content that he was invited by the chief physician to discuss the issue was at Aleksander Stepanovitch Koropchenko’s office having a “heart-to heart” talk. In that year of 1973 Sasha had a plan for August, he intended to lead a group of Tomsk students along Altai. So when Aleksander Stepanovitch asked him, he vigorously replied that he would like to have his vacation in August. The chief physician looked through the papers and offered to change the time, so Sasha asked to give him vacation in July.

He was the head of the group of tourists, and could set dates. Koropchenko agreed, and later in the list of vacations’ schedule, which was hung out for everybody to see, there was July next to Sasha’s last name. Though when talking to the chief physician, Sasha asked him to issue a certificate to confirm that he would be given vacation in July. He explained that he needed the certificate to be submitted to the rescue service. For some inexplicable reason, Sasha asked the certificate in duplicate, he immediately received both documents properly signed and stamped. Everything was fine, but at the end of June the chief physician called Sasha to his office again and informed him that he could not allow him to take his vacation, because many doctors were on vacation already, so he could not leave the hospital empty. Sasha’s arguments that he was a young doctor, and that by law he was supposed to receive vacation during summer time, that in the vacations’ list he was scheduled for July, and that he even had a certificate signed and stamped, he submitted the certificate, he brought with him sensing that dvelopment of events. Aleksander Stepanovitch was dumb-founded first because of unspeakable impertinence and then started shouting at poor Sasha, that things would be only the way he said and that was it. What could be done? So Sasha made up his mind. The next day, on Friday, he discharged from the hospital everybody who was ready for that, and for the rest he wrote interim epicrisis, by the way, at the regional hospital Sasha was the only one who wrote such kind of epicrisis, and he had always been praised for that. He put all the case histories in a file and placed it at the corner of the desk. In the evening of the very day he flew to Biysk, and in the morning on Saturday together with the group he was in Gorno-Altaisk, and after registering at the rescue station by the lunch time they were running along Chuiskiy rout towards Mongolia.

On Monday at the regional hospital of the Ministry of Internal Affairs in Kemerovo a row burst out, like a thunder-storm. The chief physician was ranting and raving even more forcefully than Greek gods; he was looking for Sasha Popovitch, who failed to show up at work. Daah, everybody around had a hard day then. Though do not forget that the chief physician of the regional hospital was a colonel of Law Enforcement Forces. Through the Ministry of Internal Affairs channels he contacted Kemerovo regional tourism bureau and found out that in July Popoitch was leading a group of Tomsk Polytechnic university students. He found among hundreds of tourist clubs of Tomsk the one he needed, called “Penelopa” and learned that the group could be detained only on the stage of registration at the rescue service station (RSS). So a special wire of the Ministry of Internal Affairs was sent to the RSS of Gorno-Altaisk with a request to block registration of the group of A.K.Popovitch. Alas, that was too late.

Here is a proof that bureaucrats are bureaucrats even in medicine, that’s terrible.

Well, when Sasha returned to his working place, after a successful hiking tour, Aleksander Stepanovitch cooled down, and generally speaking, he was not a bad person, he did not scold Sasha, but sent him to the Medical Department of the Administration of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, as Sasha’s absenteeism had been too long. Yurii Sergeievitch Zakharov, a former CP Regional Committee officer, who had been demoted for his addiction to the “demon drink”, welcomed Sasha with a malicious smile, saying, gotcha! However what was special about Sasha was a mixture of carelessness and prudence. In that case by the end of July, before returning at work, he paid a visit to a law firm for a consultation, honestly told them everything and asked four questions:

- Can I be fired?
- Can I be imprisoned?
- Can my diploma be annulled?
- How can I be punished?

Pretty young ladies, who worked there, had a good laugh at him; they definitely liked Sasha, and gave answers to all his questions:

1. He won’t be imprisoned 100%.
2. He won’t lose his diploma – there were not them who had issued it.
3. He could be fired, but unlikely.
4. There could be administrative penalizing such as: an administrative reprimand and warning or a transfer to another position for a period not longer than three months.

Generally speaking, the notorious truant A.K.Popovitch was calm and legally very well prepared, when called to the carpet by the fan of the “demon drink” and a former CP Regional Committee officer. The main things were that he would not be imprisoned and his diploma won’t be annulled, and he would be absolutely happy to be fired, as for reprimands and transfers he was not afraid of that at all. So when Yurii Sergeievitch announced that he would annul Sasha’s diploma and put him into prison for six years for his failing to provide medical help, Sasha gladly said: “Thanks God, it is not the 1937 now, or you would have perhaps shot me”. He obviously was provoking Zakharov to fire him. “This is about the legal prosecution. As for my diploma, it’s also a goof; it was not you luckily, who’d issued it, so you cannot take it from me. I doubt that you fire me, but I won’t mind if you transfer me to Muriuk. Only do not delay with that. August, September and October are the best for mushrooms, fishing and hunting in taiga, and after that I am going home to Kemerovo. You have no right to by law to transfer me for a period longer than three months”. Before that Sasha even could not imagine what color range is hidden in a human face. Yurii Sergeievitch turned red first, then he suddenly became pale, and then he became of green color, like his favorite demon drink. “Get out” – he hissed, the administrator really hissed. Though, Sasha made it even worse: “No, I will get not out, but will go at work. I will not perform my duties, as soon as you do not allow me to do so, but I will regularly attend. As you may know later I will have to be paid for the forced truancy…”. Sasha did not have time to finish, as a huge yellowish-pink ashtray of color glass was flying at him.

God saved Sasha, the bureaucrat missed. Sasha did not try to tempt fate any longer and rushed out of the office. In the morning Sasha learned that he had received an administrative reprimand and he was allowed to resume his work. Generally speaking, that could be the end of the essay, though here is a question: “And where is a vacation?” For some reason Sasha remembered about that in seven long months.

He directly said to the chief physician: “And when will I have my vacation for the last year? I did not have any vacation; I failed to report at work”. And he was given a vacation. For god’s sake do not laugh. When he got his vacation in March, Sasha led a tourist group to Gornaya Shoria. He broke his leg, and again was loafing all summer long.

September,25 2013

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #214040300542

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content