Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh

Golubev, I do not remember his name and middle name, but I bet you that any graduate of the Therapeutic Department of 1972 remembers this professor of the Social Sciences Department. Golubev stuck in one's memory not only by the fact that he read lectures to the students of all departments, but by how he read them. He gave his lectures in a very peculiar way. The academic material was presented quite understandably and clearly, there were given intelligible to everyone authentic examples (considering that it was a Political Economy Course).

So imagine the following: a not tall, one can say even short, frail professor is giving a lecture walking slowly along the lecture hall in front of the students, and suddenly as if a hidden spring throws him up, he shoots up to the upper rows of the lecture hall and venomously asks those playing "sea battle": "Well? Did you hit the target?", and not waiting for an answer as swiftly comes down of the hall. Such a way of lecturing of his was very impressive.

In this story I want to tell about a widely known incident during a Political Economy exam. I received my credit "mechanically" - on the basis of my achievements during the semester - and did not have to take the exam, but I could not leave my dear group to the mercy of fate, especially that we had tailored a splendid plan.

Osetrov, golubev.

Sasha Plokhikh was appointed as a leader in the implementation of the plan. A couple of words about Sasha: he studied with us for four years, and in the fifth year transferred to the Tomsk Military Medical Academy. Well, Shasha was an inspiring center of any company. He had a talent to make everybody laugh by telling not only a funny story, but a sad or even a tragic one. Everyone around were roaring with laughter, and he was standing there with an indifferent, even sad face, which made things even funnier.

Now about the exam, in the morning we managed to find a carafe (if you remember, at those old days there were faceted carafes) and poured two bottles of vodka in it.

So, the first group of five students - it seems to me, except Plokhikh, there were Kardashov, Romashov, Sizikov and Salmayer in it - entered the examination room, took the examination papers and sat down. All the rest of us, who knew about the plan, were looking through a chink of the door. Then Sasha Plokhikh loudly stated: "It's hot. And are you, so and so (I am sorry, I do not remember Golubev's name and middle name), perhaps, hot, too?" The professor replied in a sense that students should not fool him, but be busy preparing. But Sasha continued on the topic, insisting that it was hot, and asked: "May I have a drink from your carafe?" Golubev dropped his jaw and allowed Sasha to drink. And then the events started swiftly unfolding: Sasha got up, took the carafe, poured almost a full glass, shoved it in Golubev's hands and with the words "You are hot" practically forced it up to Golubev's mouth and nose. And there one should see how Golubev at the beginning was actively resisting, then suddenly jerked with his nose, sniffed and started willingly drinking himself, at the same time Sasha still controlled the process of drinking and with his hand directed the glass. Golubev's first words were: "Wow! That's something! Well done!".

Should it be mentioned that after that the exam turned into a formality? Everyone passed it, practically everyone got an excellent grade, and by the end of the exam the carafe was empty.

july 7, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202091860

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content