Humorous Essays Based on students' memories
"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius
- From the author
- Review of a book by O.P.Syedyshev "The Guys"
- Copyright
The Guys
Essay 1. How I became a student
Essay 2. Mini-dorm
Essay 3. Arkasha
Essay 4. Ditto
Essay 5. Vagram
Essay 6. Eugene
Essay 7. Slava Sizikov
Essay 8. Batya
Essay 9. Tolik and Vagram
Essay 10. Ilgam and Otari
Essay 11. Petya Kozlov and a pipe
Essay 12. Golubev and Sasha Plokhikh
Essay 13. Serezha Sherbinin
Essay 14. Operative surgery exam
Essay 15. Striptease of Leada Syrkasheva
Essay 17. Pseudo wedding
Essay 18. How I was a trade union organi...
Essay 19. Anatomy
Essay 20. #118 Group
Essay 21. RW
Essay 22. Brothers Romashov
Essay 23. Pharmakology
Essay 24. Sambo
Essay 25. Dimka the Wine-Maker
Essay 26. Brewery
Essay 27. Delicacy
Essay 28. Muster
Essay 29. Festival
Essay 30. Cant wait to get married
Essay 31. Beer at lectures
Essay 32. Examinations
Essay 33. The murder will out
Essay 34. An accident
Essay 35. Vendetta
Essay 36. A lesson to remember for a lif...
Essay 38. A wedding ring
Essay 40. How different all of them are
Essay 41. Product #2
Essay 42. A guitar
Essay 43. A stranger in medicine
Essay 44. Oh, sports - You are life!
Essay 45. Canalis nasolacrimalis
Essay 46. Young Communist League (Komsom...
Essay 47. Unus - one out of five
Essay 48. His Majesty photographer
Essay 49. Three tablets of aminazine
Essay 50. "Nothern Lights"
Essay 51. Gentlemen of luck
Essay 52. Brother-2
Essay 53. Three thanks
Essay 54. Superstitious Beliefs
Essay 56. Satanic Grin
Essay 57. 21 Gurgles
Essay 58. Triplets
Essay 59. Pilau on Issyk Kul
Essay 60. Is speculation business or not...
Essay 61. Bitter Sugar
Essay 63. Cream Of Wheat
Essay 64. Feeling Of Pride
Essay 65. Was It Love?
Essay 67. Examination Paper #13
Essay 68. The Devil of Adventurism
Essay 69. Sketching Characters
Essay 70. An Excursion
Essay 71. Winter examinations
Essay 72. Stierlitz is no match for them...
Essay 73. Inhale through your mouth, ple...
Essay 74. Hitler kaputt!
Essay 75. A second-year student
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
Essay 77. Four letters
Essay 78. Prince of Imereti
Essay 79. There are too few workers and ...
Essay 80. A pood of salt
Essay 81. A Prankster
Essay 82. Let's Man The Barricades!
Essay 83. Now A Kiss!
Essay 84. Briefs
Essay 85. A Miracle!
Essay 86. A mouse!.. in a hairdo? How ve...
Essay 87. A Born Obstetrician
Essay 88. International Children's Day
Essay 91. Here is the one for you, fasci...
Essay 94. A sight for sore eyes
Essay 96. REAR
Essay 97. And you are a gambler, Paramos...
Essay 98. An Ode to Pilav
Essay 99. Always hungry
Essay 100. Dudes
Essay 114. The night before
Essay 119. An autograph
Essay 130. Déjà vu
Essay 137. Twelve
Essay 141. A password is needed
Essay 142. Home brew
Essay 143. Mind what you say
Essay 144. Experimenters
Essay 145. An autograph
Essay 146. Hydrocele
Essay 147. Clip on the back of the head
Essay 148. Al Qasr
Essay 149. We were optimists...
Essay 150. Despotic and wilful person
Essay 151. With a sickle at the balls
Essay 152. Liquidation
Essay 153. Resonance
Essay 154. Shock therapy
Essay 155. Good luck of Victor Kiss
Essay 156. Herd instinct
Essay 157. Cond'omer
Essay 159. The Gypsy Baron
Essay 160. SI system
Essay 161. Foie gras
Essay 162. Divine disposition
Essay 163. Chizhik-Pyzhik*
Essay 164. Culinary terrorist act
Essay 172. At the world's end
Essay 173. Rupture
After graduation
Essay 37 Whyte chrysanthemums
Essay 55 We Are the Eleventh! So What?
Essay 62 Feinzilberg's Mistake
Essay 90 Betwixt and Between...
Essay 92 Those who are drowning are to ...
Essay 93 People, be happy
Essay 116 Here's a fine how d'ye do!
Essay 131 Feminine logic
Essay 132 Bimbo and, pardon, balls
Essay 133 Forty years later
Essay 134 Product #2 again
Essay 136 Striptease of Fomitch
Essay 138 Love and gastric ulcer
Essay 139 A victim of essays
Essay 140 Sleep!
Essay 158 Help-it's a panic
Essay 165 A Hen
Essay 166 The first vacation
Essay 167 Tails
Essay 168 PEA
Essay 169 Sochi
Essay 170 VOLGA
Essay 171 Muriuk
Essay 174 Bear's disease
Essay 175 An escape
Kitchen talks
Essay 39. A brick on the top of the head
Essay 89. Guriev Porridge (or conversati...
Essay 113. Prosperity of Russia
Essay 135. A Prescription
Beyond the Horizon
Essay 16. Its a small world
Essay 66. Paris, Paris...
Essay 95. Milan is a Lucrative City
Essay 102. A Look and Something
Essay 103. Tango 'Magnolia'
Essay 110. Buddha is smiling
Essay 128. Red Light District
Essay 76. Mistakes should be paid for!
They say: The poor are keen inventors.... Though, I would confidently paraphrase the saying: Students are keen inventors. Especially when inventiveness concerns an opportunity to skip such subject as physical training (PT). In my previous essays I wrote how we had done that in our days. We got enrolled into various sports groups and that way received passed in PT. But not to attend PT at all! That never occurred to us. I did sambo, took part in the Institute's competitions and was proud of the fact that I was allowed not to attend PT. Tolik Lopatin went to different competitions among medical universities and won prizes there. Though the students, who studied much later after us were more advanced than us and managed to absolutely avoid the so much disliked by all of us physical training classes.In the 1990's Roman Zhuk studied at the Pediatric Department of Kemerovo Medical Institute, and lived in Kirovskiy district. Roman studied well. He was not a goldbricker and was practically always ready to answer during his classes. Of course, he gave enough of his time to other fields of student interests, but did his best that they would not interfere with his study, and he succeeded in that. And he had a good example to follow; his mother also had studied at that institute and told him a lot about its traditions and rules.
She told him about the professors and their personalities and peculiarities as well. That helped Roman a great deal. He was doing fine, except for one thing, he grudged spending that much time on trips to physical training classes, full stop. In those years the main institute's building was already moved to Leninskiy district of Kemerovo, and to its part, which was the most remote from the city center. In order to get from Kirovskiy district to the main building, where the Physical Training Department was, and the classes were held, one had to spend not less than two hours. And that was the time spent on the trip one way, but one had to go back after the classes. Totally it took four-five hours. To go by bus was costly for a student's budget. He was nothing if not able to count money and time, and he has always done that. He managed to persuade other guys that it would be cheaper for them to club together and buy a gift for the department at the end of the semester,
All the company of absentees happily welcomed the idea of buying gifts and goofed the PT classes off, they even boasted about that to their peers, though as the time of tests came closer, they started having insidious thoughts: What if?.. They approached Roma with their hesitations, but Roma stood firm and did not give a chance to those who had doubts to let them grow. However if to be completely honest, Roman, too, from time to time had similar mean little thoughts: What if?.. So there came the time of tests, and everything went smoothly. The guys bought paint for some brief repair work and flowerpots, and the whole company had their student's record books signed with passed for the PT course.
So that lasted for three semesters. The guys were happy, they did not attend PT classes, and that was why they did not know the department's news. A mother of one of them called them loafers. The department's news had to do with them directly. A new instructor came to the department, and he turned to be a man of principle. So when the loafers, mentioned above, came to get another test, unpleasant news was waiting for them: the skipped classes had to be worked off, every hour of them, either way they had to participate in a skiing competition.
The guy kind of did not stand out among the other guys, but he turned to have significant achievements in skiing. Roma told him about the new PT scum-instructor, who had such a sadistic way with the students-absentees.
Roman was very glad, but again he made a mistake and did not ask Semen about how the competition had gone. And he should have done that for sure. That was a mistake, but as it is known, mistakes should be paid for! Several days passed, and Roman was called to the Dean's office and he was heartily greeted with a record of the institute he set during that ski competition! Well, of course, it was announced, that he would participate in a competition between all universities to uphold the honor of the medical institute. Poor Roma, he, the champion, was a sorry sight. He did not know where to look for Semen, and how to look for him. There were no cellular phones then yet. All in all, Roman had to uphold the honor of the Kemerovo State Medical Academy at the all universities ski racing competition, no matter he liked that or not. And Roma ran, and did that with all his strength, but that was what he did not have much, the strength. Roman ran the race and won the honored seventeen's place out of thirty, at least it was not the thirtieth. The bad thing was that at his won university his optimism was not shared. What was more his scheme with Semen was discovered. Roman still cannot understand how he managed to get out of the scrape without any damages. But, he together with his friends-loafers had to regularly attend physical training classes after that.
The plot was given by Elena Zhuk.
23 October, 2011
© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21206220665
Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content ↑