Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 32. Examinations

Exams, exams... What a wonderful time period! How many emotions and adrenaline it evokes in examinees! And then exams are passed, and the pre-examination fuss is long forgotten. One relaxes, calms down and everything he or she has left are recollections. Well, recollections obviously differ: someone's are good, and someone's are kind of not that good. Recollections from the category "not that good" come to one's mind not often. This is a wonderful property of memory - to store something good better and in more details. Well, I cannot help, but remember a Propaedeutics of Internal Diseases exam, when one of my questions was "Chronic bronchitis treatment".

Доцент Хасис А.Г

Associate professor A.G.Khasis

I remember how well I structured the answer, how thoroughly and in all details I told the professor (in my mind, it was A.G.Khasis) about the treatment by sulfanilamides and antitussive derivant therapy and so on and so forth.

The professor, it was A.G. Khasis, for sure, said "Excellent". And then he asked me: "Well, and you? How do you treat yourself, when you catch a cold? But without what was previously said". He meant without what I had said as part of my answer. I took the liberty to tell him that I went to a store and bought vodka with pepper "Pertsovka", and with two peppers on the label, and went to a steam room of Russian baths in Vesennyaya street. I stayed there for not less than two hours.

A bunch of green birch twigs and pepper vodka worked miracles, and in a couple of hours I, though not completely cured, came back home and went to bed. And in the morning I was one hundred per cent sound. And there he broke: "It's a wonderful method. For what sake have you been pulling my leg with the derivant therapy and expectorant drugs?" Recollections... those were good recollections.

Or the story about a Pharmacology exam I wrote earlier about, to which I was studying together with Vagram, the story about that dreadful night of study. Now everything is over. And recollections are everything that is left. I remember my confusion at the beginning and a young and pretty rescuer, she was more than pretty, she was petit and beautiful, and most importantly, she gave me an opportunity to pass the exam. This is the image of Tatiana Krylova, which imprinted in my memory. Only now, when I started writing my "Humorous Essays", I learned that Tatiana Krylova too, had memories left after that exam. And her memories are not about how she saw two confused faces, Vagram's one and mine. And not about how following the feeling of students' solidarity she quickly and clearly explained to us our examination questions, in such a way, that we passed the exam, and passed it well. She has the emotional component of the exam left in her memory. From her words, after the exam I came up to her and after the words of gratitude presented a chocolate bar to her.

Department head
professor L.A. Reshetova

She says: "The chocolate was delicious, and it was "Gold Anchor". And the main thing she remembers is that no one has ever presented to her chocolate before that. It was very pleasant to me to learn that my action, about which I did not remember, had left such bright emotional memories with Tatiana; Ribot's Law is no match for that. I do not know about the impressions about that exam of the third character, Vagram. Though, his friend Tolik Lopatin shared with me his recollections about another event - an Obstetrics exam.

Liubov Aleksandrovna Reshetova, who of the medics of Kemerovo did not know her? She was the pride of the Medical Institute. She was a peer of the century, "Old Liuba" - how the students used to call her. How destiny brought together Tolik Lopatin and Slava Sizikov at the exam, he did not know and could clearly explain. He also did not remember the beginning of the exam. But the final part of the exam in Tolik's memory looked the following way. Slava was giving an answer to Old Liuba, and it looked like he was doing well. The last question, that was the contraceptives, he reported like a song, and Old Liuba said: "And the last one, tell me, for what time period Kafka's cap can be worn?

If you give an answer, you will get an "excellent". Slavka replied hesitantly: "Well, for five or six hours". Old Liuba: "And what if for two or three days?" And there Slava as if with some humor uttered: "And how she will pee?" It was something, what happened after those words. Old Liuba, who generally possessed great self-command, made him leave the room and could not calm down for a long time after that, she even asked Tolik (his turn to answer was right after Slavka) how he liked that? How she would pee? Tolik knew how and got an "excellent". Slavka received an excellent grade as well, but after the second try.

I did not analyze, why students had joined in pairs to prepare for the exams. If one considers a factor of mutual comfort, then it can be said off the cuff, that each of the two is looking for support. As a rule those pairs were of the same gender. For instance, Vagram and I are males. Slava Sizikov and Valera Kitaygorodtsev are the same case. Sveta Titova and Marina Emikh are females. Though during the preparation for an anatomy exam there was formed one more pair of Dmitriy Mkheidze and Larisa Mirkina. As Dmitriy rented an apartment, and Larisa was a Kemerovo-born resident, they were studying at her place. All the students who knew Larisa and Dimka, and they were known practically by everyone, believed that the preparation to the exam was good, as both of them passed the anatomy; though the recollections about the exam were left only in the context of the preparation to it. And nothing can be done about that, as recollections are something that is kept in one's memory.

july 23, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202101853

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content