Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 33. The murder will out

There is saying: "Necessity is the mother of invention." I would like to paraphrase it: "A student can do anything!", and without regard for his or her rank, position and status in future life. Sure enough, my grandmother Agafia was right when saying, that there was no use crying over spilt milk. How many unbecoming actions, which we regret about now, we could have avoided or, to be more exact, not committed them at all. And I bet, each of us did something to regret about now. The story I want to offer to your attention happened with two generally speaking nice guys, but if they knew, what they would become in forty years, they had hardly done what they were doing with fun and youthful ardor and pride for their actions. I will give the parts of the main characters to my close friend Zhenya Romashov and myself.

Well, anyone who lives or lived in Kemerovo remembers that place on Vesennyaya street, near the drama theatre. In the photo there is a canteen behind me. The story will be about it. The location of the canteen is good: it is the city center, next to it there is a number 51 bus stop, which we took to get to the main building.

And the canteen was also famous by its good cooking.

Now I will remind you the layout of the rooms in it. One entered the door with the sign "Canteen" and came into the cloak room, to the left there was a door to the first hall. By the door there was a cash desk, where the visitors paid after they ate. That hall was huge. There were very many tables in it. Further to the left there was an arch and one more hall, which was a bit smaller. There was where the food was taken from.

The visitors came to the stand with dishes and then went to the left or right sides. They picked up the dishes and then came up to one of the two cash desks, where the cost was calculated, and a receipt given. And if one took double dishes, according to his request there could be written "Two" on his receipt.

And now guess from "three notes", what ideas were inspired in students' heads by such layout of the cash desks? No, not from "seven notes", but from the three ones. Right, it was exactly that way. One day Zhenya and I came to that canteen to have lunch.
I do not remember what was wrong with Zhenya's arm, but it hurt, and I went to pick up the dishes, and he was left to sit at a table. I took food for Zhenya and for myself, and at the cash desk a cashier asked me whether I was alone or with anybody else. I pointed at Zhenka and said that there were two of us, and she wrote "Two" on the receipt. I brought everything to our table. The lunch was delicious! Even more to it, that it was spent in a vivid discussion. We were considering all the variants; we did not leave things out of control and left for tomorrow what could be eaten that day. Zhenka was reckless. He, in spite of his sore arm, went to find out whether our theoretical reasoning was correct.

He approached the food stand, took two beetroot salads, two fried meat pies and two glasses of stewed fruit and went to the other cash desk to get a receipt.

At the cash desk he said that he had taken all the food for two of us, and a cashier without any questions wrote "Two" on his receipt.

I will tell you honestly, the beetroot salads, and meat pies, and stewed fruit were wonderful.

And they could not be any other way, as they confirmed correctness of our strenuous considerations and calculations of whether it would work well or not.

It worked out! And worked out well! When we left the canteen after we had paid, of course, by the receipt "Two", where there were calculated beetroot salads and meet pies, and compared how much we paid and how much we were supposed to pay by the receipt we had withheld, the difference was five times over. After that day many of our fellow students were very intrigued by the reason of why Zhenka and I loved that canteen that much, that even when it was not on the way for us, we still went there for lunch. And we liked that. The canteen was super. The cooks were wonderful, they cooked in the most delicious way, and what was the most important for a student, - the food was very cheap.

Though, as they say: "the murder will out". Zhenka and I noticed with jealousy that our fellow students started visiting our favorite canteen as well, and in pairs. The number of them grew bigger and bigger. They started talking at the institute that someone had brought a dozen of stakes from the very canteen, which were obtained exactly in that way, and overate as had all of them for dinner. And here I want to give a credit to Yevgeniy's wisdom. In half a year after our first visit to the canteen he told me one day: "That's it, Oleg. It's time to stop. We do not go there any more. Too many of our fellow students started visiting the place. Sooner or later they will notice the big quantity of the "Two" receipts and that the amounts of half of them differ". I listened to Zhenya. He knew better about everyday life. We quitted going to that canteen, and in a week or two there was a rumor, that someone was caught in the canteen. Though, they kept the conflict quiet.

I have honestly told you about that and changed only the names of the main characters, but described the rest of the story as the things really were.

july 24, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202110315

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content