Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 160. SI system

Of course, everybody knows that the International System of Units, which is based on centimeter, gram and second, was proposed by a smart German, whose last name was Gauss in a remote year of 1832. Later there were many of those, who wanted to improve the System. Most different variants were suggested. However the Slavs did not bother – meter, centimeter. They were quite comfortable with a native system of units, which gave such freedom for imagination.

They were comfortable until a certain moment, when inquisitive Russian mind got puzzled with practical application of the system of units. However, let’s put everything in order.

It could not be denied that Sasha Popov’s company was solid. It could not be any other way, as all of them were infected with fishing and hiking. The guys were quick-witted and inventive. They had no problems with humor as well. They suffered permanent and chronic lack of bank notes. That was exactly like that, they had something, but that was always not enough. However a credit should be given to the company, they did not feel sorry about that a lot.
All of them got ready for another regular trip to Mezhdurechensk, as if for skiing. Sure enough they took skis with them, as well as various skis lubricants. You won’t believe that, but each of them brought a good piece of salted fat “just in case”. They also took money with them; as much as each of them had got. They were sitting in a hotel pondering on whether they would not drink, that would be a crime, and if other guys had learned about that, they would mock at them. And unluckily they terribly wanted to have a drink. So all discussions were around the only question of - what to buy?

Suggestions were the most different starting from “Agdam”, which was well known in those years in Kuzbass. And somebody even offered to get “Posolskaya (a vodka brand)”. Only Misha Leonov did not participate in the conversation; he was sitting with his eyes closed and his lips were moving. Frankly speaking, nobody paid any attention at him. However at the most heated moment of the discussion about “Posolskaya” Misha as if woke up and announced that Vietnamese vodka had the highest degree of gram-percent-kopek (GPK), and it should be in a bottles with capacity of seven hundred grams.

Everybody grew dumb with astonishment. And Misha... here is what pride and well deserved attention of the other does to man. So Misha became barrel-chested, but clearly and convincingly explained to everybody, that with the budget they had the Vietnamese vodka in a seven hundred gram bottle was the best buy.

He produced calculations and examples with a pen in his hand. He compared GPK of various brands of vodka and wine and finally proved that he was right. A bit later everybody was offering toasts to Misha, to the new unit: gram-percent-kopek and was very sorry that nobody had thought to introduce such an important for people measuring unit into the SI.

It was true though that the guys themselves did nothing to glorify Misha and file an application about a new unit for the SI System – gram-percent-kopek. However they themselves had actively used GPK since that moment.

21 July, 2013

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #214040300525

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content