Syedyshev Oleg
Syedyshev Oleg

Humorous Essays Based on students' memories

"All have died
except for those who are alive, and those whom we remember"Confucius

Essay 14. Operative surgery exam

I remember very clearly that an operative surgery exam we were taking during winter examinations.

So, that year the examinations started on about 10 January and were supposed to be over by 1 February. And after that there were vacations for a couple of weeks. I am describing the time frame in so much detail, because by the will of student destiny I did not have to take two of the three exams - I passed them mechanically (on the basis of the summation of my achievements during the semester).

Assistant professor
V.G. Volkov

So operative surgery was the only exam left; it was scheduled sometime in the middle of February. At that time for some reason I wanted very much to go home to Frunze where my parents moved from Kedrovskiy opencast as soon as possible.

In our group operative surgery was taught by an assistant professor V.G. Volkov. I diligently attended classes, were prepared on a regular basis and thought that I knew the subject. But it was the operative surgery, the stories, which were told from generation to generation of students were frightening. For example, there were rumors that Sherstennikov himself gave only two grades at the exam: excellent and bad, because he believed and stated every time that to know operative surgery satisfactorily was a crime.

I decided to ask V.G. Volkov for an advice, if it was worthy to risk and take the operative surgery exam ahead of the schedule; in the end of December the Dentistry Department had several examination days. My dreams were very vivid - I imagined that if I took the exam before the schedule and fly home right away, then my vacations would be more that a month and a half. I liked the idea so much that asked Volkov whether he was involved in examining the Dentistry Department and what he would say if I tried to take the operative surgery exam before the schedule, and whether he could examine me before the settled date. I did not offer a bribe; I relied on the fact that Volkov knew me from the seminars, as he was teaching in our group.

Department Head associate professor
E.N. Sherstennikov

Poor Volkov grew dumb with astonishment because of such impudence. He said that as far as he could remember no one ever came to take the operative surgery exam before the schedule. He added that he did not advise me to take a risk, that I'd better took the exam together with my group, then according to the common procedure he would be able to examine me, though if I dared to take the exam before the schedule, he was 100 per cent sure that Sherstennikov personally would like to listen to me. Yeah, I faced a dilemma: "to be or not to be". I can honestly say that I am a reckless person with an extravert personality type. It even flattered me that I could be the first student who took the operative surgery exam before the schedule. So I went to the Dean's office to take a permit for an early exam. That was the procedure to follow then. At the Dean's office the permit was issued to me, but with such a meaningful smirk that I again hesitated whether I was doing the right thing.

Associate professor
E.M. Shklovskiy

When I came to the exam everything was going on the way Volkov had presupposed. Sherstennikov was surprised, almost dumb-founded, and welcomed me with exaggerated politeness - come on in, well...well... I started growing anxious. I took an examination paper, sat at a desk and, believe it or not, calmed down. I had a look at the examination paper and saw that I knew all the questions. I absolutely relaxed. The Operative Surgery department had a rule that one could use posters at an exam which could be a good prompt. I got up and went to select the posters. I even did not notice that Sherstennikov left his seat, took my examination paper and stood behind me watching what kind of posters I was selecting. When I was done with the posters he pointed at one of them and asked me for what question that poster was? I answered that it was for the conduction anesthesia. And there Sherstennikov addressing for some reason Shklovskiy said: "This is the way to take an exam before the schedule!". Then he said to me: "Congratulations! Excellent!".

I was very happy. I passed the exam before the schedule to Sherstennikov himself, who used to say about himself: "I come into a bathroom and see that it is written in the wall "Sherst is a fool". If they write, then I am popular". The second: I prolonged my vacations for more than a month. And the third: I realized that next semester I would receive enhanced stipend.

In a couple of days I was in Frunze and celebrated the New Year at home.

july 7, 2011

© Copyright: Oleg Syedyshev, 2012
Publishing licence #21202091890

Translated by Viktoria Potykinato content